- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius
Just for a little background, my FI always went for very skinny blondes prior to us dating, I am a volumptuous brunette. I also used to go for tall muscular men, he is shorter than me and fairly slim but hey we fell for each other.
I have been up and down with my weight all my life, I was very overweight, then I had an eating disorder and was very skinny and ill, and since I have been up down up down. Last year I re-joined the gym after about a year due to a back problem and started a strict diet and lost 35lbs between June 2013 – October 2013 then we got engaged in October, celebrated in Paris and then the festive season came around etc etc. I have a very slow metabolism mixed with clinical depression which I have medication for, which means it’s even easier for me to put on weight. So I gained around 18lbs of the 35lbs I lost. We get married in November and plan on loosing around 40lbs before then, I have been going to the gym however not been in around a week and a half due to putting my back out again, I have lost 6lbs so far this year however not been as strict as I could have been.
Sometimes FI has periods where he is very stressed with work, money, family etc and this means he hardly has any sex drive. Recently it has been a little worse, I knew that he has been stressed at work under new management of his company, however he has made a few comments of late and asked me when I last went to the gym etc and then after I tried to get romantic last night he turned me down, said no. I asked him this morning whether it was my weight or something else causing him to have lost his sex drive or was it just work, he said he loved me and that he wanted to be honest, and yes it did bother him that I hadn’t been going to the gym recently, and that I was doing so well loosing weight last year then I stopped and put sme weight back on and this is a contributing factor to his low sex drive. So now I feel a little crushed to be honest. Yes I know he loves me, yes I know I need to loose weight etc and it’s not like he’s called me a disgusting fatty but he’s my fiance, we get married this year, and our sex life has gone because he thinks I need to loose weight? Am I going to have to go to the gym every week and diet for the rest of my life or it will put him off?
He has been texting me at work all morning saying he wishes he had said nothing and that he feels terrible, then backtracking to say it is just work and money etc as well as his bad back making him loose his sex drive but he’s said it now. I feel really self-conscious now, very unsexy and like my husband to be doesn’t find me attractive any more 🙁
I will be going to the gym, I will diet and I will loose weight, but I will do this for me, I feel like he should support me, not make me do it because I feel crap about myself.