(Closed) FI left me and I’m devastated…my life is ruined.

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Mac, I’m so sorry to hear this news. I don’t know what to say … are you going to be okay? Do you have a job that will allow you to support yourself without him? If you are, you’re luckier than some.

Still, maybe you want to take some time off to travel? The world is beautiful and surprising (from the little I’ve been fortunate enough to see of it). Put new memories between you and him. Maybe spend some time at home … I’m sure the support will continue to roll in from here also. Take all you need.

Love, L

Post # 48
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. But on a legal side, he can’t just refuse to repay you I don’t think. I would contact a lawyer and see what your options are. Good Luck!

Post # 49
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry, I was rooting for you 🙁

Go get your haircut and when you’re ready a night out with the girls! Take things one day at a time, that’s the best you can do. You will get through this, come to us if you need support!

Post # 50
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hey Macintosh,

First off, I’m SO sorry that all of this has gone down.  I just feel so sad and upset for you.   

There are quite a few of us on here, myself included, who have had engagements broken.  So you should keep checking in and posting and letting us know how you’re doing.  It is ABSOLUTELY time for a post breakup haircut, and maybe also a post breakup massage, night out with your girls, new cute summer dress shopping, etc. 

I was devestated and SO embarrassed when my Ex Fiance and I called off our wedding.  We also had some really unhealthy dynamics in our relationship and now that it is 4 years later, I’m SO thankful that things ended when they did and we didn’t end up married, because it would have been so difficult and likely would have ended in divorce.  Based on what you’ve said about your relationship, I would guess it would be the same thing for you. My ex also refused to help pay for any of teh expensese to my family for the wedding being called off and left me with a hefty credit card debt and told me he’d give me moeny for some of it if I slept with him again.  What an awesome guy!  (not) and his behaviors after everything ended really confirmed to me that he was NOT who I wanted to marry and spend my life with. 

What your Fiance said to you about taking pills to kill yourself is very insensitive and it is emotionally abusive.  Believe me, this is not the kind of thing you should be hearing from someone who should be there to love and support you.  I’m sure this all feels awful now, but you WILL forge ahead and begin to create a new chapter in your life and someday you will find someone who, when you tell them you’re stressed, they’ll give you a hug rather than a mean and cruel comment.  Until that time, you can love and respect yourself, which is the most important thing you can do in your life. 

You are NOT a bad person because this happened.  You are NOT undeserving of love and affection.  You are an amazing and strong woman and you will move forward from this.  Please keep checking in with us!  We all care about you.

HUGS from Seattle! 

Post # 51
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Do what you need to do to get better, and remember if you need to vent, the boards are a good place for some help.  (hugs)

Post # 52
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

When you look back on the last few days in about 2 months, you will be so happy that it all blew up now instead of later~ time will help heal your wounds.

 

You are deserving of a partner who supports you, makes you happy~ there are millions of people out there.  Take care of yourself now, put on a happy face on the outside and just move forward a min at a time, then those minutes will turn into hours, then the hours into days…..

 

Don’t let him destroy your self worth~ that is a weak attack from a desperate person.  Recognize that…. he is doing that to make himself feel justified in his actions.   Don’t let him off the hook~ show him what he is missing.

 Emotional abuse is the correct term for sure.  Find support from friends, loved ones and this board~ one day you will post, I am so happy I found the man of my dreams and to think I almost married a REAL JERK!

Post # 53
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

*virtual hugs*

There is a lot of great advice here.

When I put myself in your position (keep in mind you’re not me at all but I am just trying to picture myself in your shoes) I would be really upset and unsure.  I wouldn’t know what to do… I mean here is the man I love, and he just leaves… taking his stuff to boot and leaving high and dry without any answers or hints of answers.  And he’s done this twice already!

To be honest I’m not sure what I would do, but I’m glad that others here are here to offer good advice, I hope you can find comfort in that.  ^_^

The topic ‘FI left me and I’m devastated…my life is ruined.’ is closed to new replies.

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