- Future Mrs N
- 7 years ago
We’ve been having some disagreements lately. Mostly stupid little things, but some bigger issues like family boundaries. I thought that we could work through anything, though, because that’s just the approach I have with relationships….especially the man I want to marry. Life sucks sometimes and you just have to roll with it. I guess he doesn’t look at things the same way. I thought he did.
He had me drop him off at his parent’s house tonight so that he could spend some time alone. Unfortunately his parents have never really been behind us getting married. I would like to think that he can make his own decisions, but deep down I know how much they still influence him, even as an adult. He’s 27, but they treat him as if he is 12. Needless to say, that is difficult to watch. I should have known it would end this way. Hindsight is 20/20.
We live together, and right now I feel so incredibly alone. I’ve been through this before. Nearly 10 years ago I had an engagement break off 3 months before the wedding. That one left me too. I’m really beginning to feel defective. It just felt so different this time. I know in my soul that he is who I am supposed to be with. It’s hard knowing that he may not feel the same way anymore.
We’ve been going to counseling with our priest, which is required by our church, and the last couple of weeks we both left there feeling better, or so I thought. He (priest) reassured us that all of what we are dealing with right now is normal for a couple about to get married. However, FI’s mother has been very vocal about the fact that she believes “If you are fighting like this now then you have no chance at having a marriage”. And he listens to that. And that hurts like hell. She even called my mother to tell her that. I’m 32, and my parents have always been supportive of me but haven’t tried to run my life since I became an adult. My mom told FI’s mom as much. Personally, I don’t think it is any of FI’s mom’s business, but he doesn’t see it that way. I’m not deluded enough to think I can change him. I just had planned on working at it for forever, because that’s what our committment means to me.
I want to hope for the best, but I just have that sinking feeling right now. I’m all cried out. I can’t believe this is happening to me again.