Post # 1
Hi Bees, I am freaking out a little (a lot). Any advice you can offer or support would be amazing. My brain is not working straight.
Fiance came home from work tonight and he was laid off on the spot from his job. It wasn’t anything he did. The economy in our field is horrible right now and there have been lots of layoffs industry-wide. We will be fine, I make enough to support us both, pay our bills and mortgage, etc.
He was trying to keep the mood light after he told me and joked we would have to sell my engagement ring. We both are worriers and always go to worst case scenario and I know he was just messing around but I lost it and started crying (poor guy felt terrible). I just feel so guilty.
I feel guilty because we just bought our house less than a year ago and I convinced him to move where we live now because there was lots of work. Then the economy tanked and now he has no job. I am also now feeling guilty because we are getting married in August. It’s like, why are we going to spend all this money on our wedding when we only have one income?
My panic brain made me jump right to posponing the wedding, but we will lose all our deposits which seems like a huge waste. But I’m feeling nervous going ahead with all we planned when we should really be tightening our belts until Fiance gets a new job.
It also doesn’t help that both our mothers kept asking us why we would spend so much money on a big party. They both say we should do what they did (late ceremony and just a few drinks and appies after). I can already hear them telling us how if we would have listened to them we wouldn’t be in this situation because we would have had so much more saved without our wedding. We haven’t even bought our wedding bands yet and I don’t want him to feel strapped for cash or like I want something too expensive. Even buying those seems irresponsible!
I was so excited to finally be getting married to my Fiance but now I don’t know what to do. Fiance says we don’t need to cancel it and that we will be fine, but if he doesn’t have a job by August, is it irresponsible of us to have our wedding? We planned on the less expensive end compared to estimates I saw online but it isn’t cheap either, it will be less than $12,000.
I don’t know what to do.
Post # 2
don’t worry about how your mothers will react.
you really have to sit down and re-budget your income and how continuing with a wedding would affect you both.
will it put you into financial hardship?
are you paying for the wedding with credit? will you be able to make payments or pay it off within a year with one income?
sometimes the hardest decisions will be the best long term ones.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t cancel a wedding due to job loss, just like I wouldn’t divorce my husband for job loss.
I would, however, tweak the wedding budget as much as needed.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t cancel but would scale back as much as possible.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t cancel or postpone the wedding.
My DH was working 4.5 hours away from me and our families at a job he absolutely hated. Working 6 days a week, it was impossible for him to interview for jobs closer to home. We made the mutual decision for him to quit without a job lined up in August 2013. Our wedding was planned for June 2014 and he didn’t find a job here until February 2014. Although it was stressful, we still managed to pull off our wedding and honeymoon as planned. My parents helped a lot more than we planned, but it was better than losing the deposits!
It is DEFINITELY doable!
Post # 6
Can you afford it? If you can go ahead with the wedding you’ve planned.
If you can’t afford it, personally, I would not postpone the wedding anyway. I would prefer to marry my Fiance on the day we had planned and I would do it wearing a sack @ a registry office if that’s all I could afford. A marriage isn’t about the wedding itself. You could even just have an intimate wedding now and a big celebration at a later date when you feel like you could afford it.
As you said, you both tend to go to worst case scenario type thinking. For this though try to avoid that. Really break it down and think logically about what’s important to you and what you can afford.
Sorry to hear abt your FIs job By The Way
Post # 7
I definitely don’t think you should postpone the marriage. This is a time for the two of you to band together and strengthen as a union. Whether you want to change it to a small intimate gathering is another story–but with all the deposits you’ve paid, I’m not sure if that would be worth it either.
August is still a few months away, and he might even have a new job by then. I quit my last job at Christmas and got a new job today. It’s possible.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t cancel my wedding but if there is anything you don’t have deposits on that you can cut/spend less on, I would do that. Encourage your Fiance to stay hopeful and to file immediately for unemployment benefits,
Don’t eliminate hobbies or date nights but try to find some fun new inexpensive/free outings. If you have to postpone your honeymoon or take one closer to home, consider that. I’m sure he will have a job again soon!
Post # 10
Oil Field? 🙁 <br />I agree with PP! Don’t move it just scale back?…
Post # 11
Take emotions out of it entirely. Never make a financial decision like this based on emotions.
You need to make three sets of budgets (not wedding budget). One including the $12k wedding, one including a scaled back wedding and one not including a wedding. This will let you know if you can afford any type of wedding after day to day living costs.
It will also help to decide what lifestyle things you can go without or cut back on to save money (cable, dinners out, switching grocery brands, gym memberships etc).
And please do not plan a budget or wedding thinking your Fiance will get a job soon. The budget should just be income coming in right now. Hopefully he gets a new job soon but you never know.
Post # 12
Me and my fiancé will possibly face the same predicament soon! We were discussing what we would do, and right now the best solution for us is to not serve a meal during the reception, with cake and light appetizers only. We are already planning to spend as little money as possible, so there’s not a whole lot for us to scale back on, but I hate not serving more substantial food since most of my side will be traveling 3 hours or more to attend. The wedding is scheduled for 2:00, so not really meal time, but still. Our wedding is being planned for this Sept, but we may even need to move it up depending on some other circumstances. I feel like I’m rambeling, but basically I think your situation sounds doable, and it wouldn’t be irresponsible to continue forward.