Post # 1
So as Fiance and I were cuddling, a pregnancy test commercial comes on and he goes “that’s something we never have to worry about buying.” I laughed it off and then asked why that comment. He goes you haven’t gotten pregnant in 3 years, and it took 5 for us to get pregnant with our first child. I’m 24 years old, we do not use protection, and he does not pull out as well ( I know all about STDS and you can never be certain blah blah blah I know, and call it dumb of me but I do trust him, and this is how we have been doing it years into our relationship.) I have about 2-3 periods a year if that! So I have been told in the past it’ll be a little more difficult, also when pregnant with my first child I was on bed rest most of pregnancy due to a very tilted cervix and some other things they wanted to be sure of. But all in all Dr was sure I could become pregnant again, just needed to try to get periods on track etc, after baby, periods were regular until about last year. I didn’t go back to a Dr. (other than my annual, but didn’t bring it up.
Anyway I asked him if he’s worried about me not being able to have more kids, and he goes absolutely and we need to figure this out before dishing more money out on a wedding, laughed and went to get us more wine…I’m livid now and heartbroken. I asked ” so you don’t want to get married now ? and he laughed and hugged me and said no baby i’m just messing with you, but we should go to a Dr to see whats going on, if you need treatments to help conceive that can be very expensive and I would rather know all financial obligations we are getting into so if we need to cut some cost for the wedding(also looking at a house, and i’m in school getting my masters)….I’m fine with that and got the clarification somewhat and it is very responsible of him it just came out terribly for me, I think it hurt because me not getting pregnant has been a HUGE thing on my mind i just never expressed it and i’m just scared to go to the Dr to discuss this, but know it has to be done. I’m just scared I’ll get the sorry, you can’t have anymore kids. Just a vent/ scared bee, as usual. Agenda tomorrow is make a Dr appt and go from there.
Post # 2
Punctuation and paragraphs are your friends.
Post # 3
Don’t be scared 😊 you’re still Young and have plenty of time for another baby. Even if it were to take a few years or 5 I’m sure it will happen. Make that doctors appointment and put your mind at ease. Your Fiance was definitively joking around.
Post # 4
Whirlwind03: Really? A comment like that on a post like this? Clearly, OP is upset. There is no need to point out her lack of punctuation or paragraphs, especially since you didn’t provide any support or advice either. If you don’t have something nice and relevant to say, then I think it’s best to just not say anything at all.
OP, I’m sorry to hear about your struggles about getting pregnant. And I’m sorry your SO mentioned those things so insensitively. My guess is that he didn’t mean to but I think you should mention to him you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. I wish you all the best at your doctors appointment. Hopefully your SO can come with you for support.
Post # 6
gemstoneheart: Thank you! I don’t let comments like that bother me, I have bigger issues CLEARLY lol but thank you for that! And yes I did just let it kind of slide today, but will be bringing it back up when we are less tipsy/ tired tomorrow for sure! Just to let him know of my concerns and just how it did hurt my feelings!
Post # 7
You had one baby and you are very young. He obviously would like another kid if he is being financially responsible to have it. Take a breath. Perhaps his “humor” was ill timed but he didn’t mean he doesn’t want more children
Post # 8
Very insensitive comment to someone clearly in a crisis and needing support!
Post # 9
theatrejulia: Thanks. We both know we want more kids down the line for sure, my worries was Oh no! where does it leave us if I cant! But I wont be negative and will see what the Doc says !
Post # 10
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope you find the support and hope you need with your doctor and Fiance.
I do believe you should start having this kind of chats with your Fiance and with yourself. You are facing something that could happen (though, I really hope it doesn’t) which is that you might be infertile. You need to talk with your Fiance so you can both prepare yourselves in case this is what your doctor tells you, becaue I do believe you will need his support in order to confront such reality. So having a “back-up” plan would be very healthy for both of you -and might make you feel more calm if your Fiance reassures you nothing bad would happen if that scenario comes true. I am not trying to be pesimist, just try to make you improve your communication with Fiance about this topic. He seems to be very hopeful, while you are dealing with all uncertainty on the inside: you both need to be working together to support each other as a couple.
Post # 11
Wait you were trying for your first baby at like 16?
Post # 12
thelibrarylady: I was trying to wrap my head around the timeline she laid out too!
Post # 13
With a child in the picture already, I think his point was not that you shouldn’t get married as much as an expensive reception might not be the smartest way to spend money, especially if you already know you are going to need it for future fertility treatments, a home, etc. But there’s really no reason you can’t be married right now if you both want to be.
Post # 14
bbforreal: I’m sorry you are stressing over this and he most likely isn’t helping.
I think you haven’t got that much to stress about, you are still very young and already have one child. It isn’t the best of times in your life because your trying to sort out a house for yourselves and your still in school, one child is a lot of work and expense while doing that as it is. I don’t think it’s a time to rush and be concerned like you are running out of time.
He obviously wants more children but I think he needs to slow down, he sounds like he wants it now, now and now. By all means, both of you can get checked out to see whether everything is running ok and what you might possibly need in the future. It’s good to be prepared and it’s wrong of him to assume that the problem is just you. But it doesn’t mean you have to actually do the actions and motions yet.
Post # 15
Sounds like he brought it up when you were drinking…ask him about it when you’re sober