(Closed) FI may be moving to another city…

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

On a positive note, it’s only 6 months. I actually know quite a few couples who have work schedules like this, though, and it seems to work just fine for them!

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

My husband and I were separated for two years while I was in NYC and he was in Nashville.  I’m not going to lie and say it was easy… but we got through it just fine.  And we only saw each other about once a month so you’re way ahead of us.  I think you should do it in the interest of his career.  And honestly, with all the wedding planning you’ll be doing 6 months will FLY by!

Post # 5
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Luckily it is two cities that are fairly close together. The train runs between Boston and NYC.

I’m sorry. I’m sure this sucks. I know it’s not the same but every other week but Fiance works the overnight shift and I see him for exactly 45 minutes in the morning between when he gets home and when I leave. So for a week straight, I only see him 45 min a day.

Thank God for the internet. You two can still email pictures of wedding items back and forth.

Again, I’m sorry because I know it’s not fun 🙁

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

it’s temporary! i would go for it as long as they pay for his housing in boston. fi and i haven’t personally done this yet, but the opportunity for me to go on a detail away for 3-6 months is a real possibility. i would jump at the chance — it would definitely be difficult for me to be away so much, but at the same time i think we would value our weekends together even more. and it would be a great career move.

Post # 9
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband works out of state 6 months a year, every year.  He only gets to come home maybe twice over those 6 months, and I fly to see him 3-4 times.

It sucks for sure.  He missed a lot of our wedding planning (He left in March, and got home mid-September) since our wedding was in December.

BUT, that being said – we are an amazingly happy couple, and we just do it.  We stay connected by talking on the phone, Skype, writing letters, emails, sending each other gifts, etc.

Honestly, when he is home, I appreciate him so, so much more and value our time together.

You can do it girl!

Post # 10
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would just take it a day at a time.  Just look at it as a 6 month thing for now but if later on it seems like things are going well there and they want him to move there, consider if he should look for a new job where you live or if you want to look for a job where he is or whatever other decision you make.

It sounds like it is good for his career and isn’t too long for right now.

Post # 12
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@KatNYC2011:  If it does turn into that would you be willing to move to Boston?  If not, he needs to be upfront with the company about the fact that it’s not an option for this position to go permanent.  It would be more damaging to his career to waste the company’s time by going up to Boston, becoming part of the flow of business in the office up there, but then being unwilling to stay on long term.

Post # 13
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oooo gotcha with the wedding planning. Email/skype, or assign individual tasks I guess?

Don’t worry about it getting extended until it does!

Post # 14
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Before Darling Husband and I moved to NYC we lived in MI.. He was a consultant and was gone Monday – Thursday, home late Thursday or Friday morning and gone again Sunday night or Monday morning.. It was SUPER tough, but we made it through it.. It gets hard when he calls and is out with clients having fun and you’re home doing laundry or paying bills.. I was jealous because I wanted to be hanging out with him or because he was out having fun without me.. It also puts a damper on your weekends, I lost a few friends because I was always with him every weekend and didn’t make time for my friends anymore because when he’s gone Monday – Friday and all you want to do is spend Saturday & Sunday with him…

All you can do is see how it works for you guys, would he be able to do it on a trial basis without jeapordizing his career?  I wish you luck and strength, it is not easy but it can be done. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@KatNYC2011: Haha, I totally understand.  I had to move us to our new apartment two years ago in July without him.  It sucked beyond words.  Thankfully my parents came to help!

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