Post # 1
I just saw a text from my fiance that he’s traveling for work in two weeks for 2 days, he’ll get in late on my birthday. A guy he works with is retiring so it’s doing some stuff for that..meeting contacts/clients before the guy retires
I saw the text and immediately bawled.
This is my first birthday since we started dating last year (actually our 2nd date last year was the day after my birthday). I’m about to get my period (due today) so that’s why I just cried. He’d been asking me last couple of weeks what I want to do and I said something low key with just us…having a December birthday is tough with holidays so I never make a big deal of it. I had been telling him just do something the two of us.
I have not responded – I’m also upset he texted me that and couldn’t wait until I got home…
Also, my Fiance has not traveled since he was promoted within his company in July (he has not traveled since March). When he travels, he always chooses, things just have to be done by certain dates. I have a feeling he/that guy procrastinated bc his work trips always seems to be last minute bc he pushes it off. I actually already thought this guy was retired or that my Fiance was going to the retirement party after work in just a couple of weeks…
Ugh..I know it’s not the end of the world but birthday/holiday are tough..lost my mom 12 years ago, my 2 remaining grandparents are not in good health, my sister in law’s father just died (in another country) and they’re not coming to Christmas.
Thanks Bees for listening.
Post # 2
You’re right…it’s not the end of the world, dear! You guys can still celebrate your birthday, even if it’s not on the exact day. My husband is leaving on a trip (for leisure) a few days after Christmas, and he will be gone for my birthday, which is exaclty one week after Christmas. Granted we are very indepenedent people, so it may be different for us, but I don’t mind at all. I’ll still be here when he gets back, and we’ll go out to dinner or something…and it will still feel special.
Post # 3
Do you have a friend or family member you can do something with on the day of? If not, plan something nice for yourself. Get a massage or go to some movie you know he would hate or plan something that would be fun to do alone. It sounds like the holidays are going to be rough for you this year so you’ll feel better if you take care of yourself.
Post # 4
I think you need to have a glass of wine, throw on your jammies and snuggle up with SO when you get home. My period makes me emotional too so i completely get it. Him missing your bday really isn’t a huge deal. You will be ok 😊
Post # 5
Get together with some friends or family on your actual birthday and just celebrate with him before or after. It will extend your birthday!
I travel a lot with work and in the seven years Darling Husband have been together I think I’ve missed his birthday five times. I always feel so bad. I’m sure he feels awful, too.
Post # 6
Definitely not the end of the world. There are a few really cool things about this, actually: 1) ALONE TIME (you don’t realize how great that is until you are living together/married). I love my Darling Husband but I love my alone time, too. I can do WHATEVER I WANT (within reason)…even things that don’t include consideration for my Darling Husband or anyone else. If I want to sit on the couch and eat candy all day…I can. No strings attached!! Make some plans to do something you think is great. 2) You will have other birthdays in which he can “make it up to you. 3) When he gets back, he can also make it up to you.
I’m not saying this to be one of those annoying “look at the bright side” people. I’m actually very empathetic to your situation–my mother passed Nov. 2nd, not even a month and a half after my wedding. My only sister and I are estranged…since my mother can’t be here for Christmas, she has decided to fly up here and spend Christmas with my father–so now I can’t see him during the holiday because my sister and I are not on speaking terms (for very good reason). All my grandparents have passed, the last of which happened a year ago. And my FI’s father is in the middle of a cancer scare.
SO…if my Darling Husband told me he was missing my birthday and it was our first together, what I listed is just how I would think of it!! Hugs to you, bee. It gets better…always.
Post # 7
I’m sure he will make it up to you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I know you will have a fantastic birthday!
Are you part of birthday clubs for any local businesses? I love getting free stuff on my birthday. I think Baskin Robbins gives you a free ice cream scoop for your birthday.
Post # 8
summerbride2016: If it makes you feel any better….. Two years ago my Darling Husband moved us two states away from all my friends and family for work, and he had to work out of town on my birthday and thanksgiving. So I was completely alone in a new town and was unable to go home due to finances. It sucks and I understand what you’re going through.
Like me, you too will get through this. Invite some girlfriends over, order take out and each the cheesiest movies possible. And when your SO comes back, dress up and go to a nice dinner. 🙂
Post # 9
Yes, put it down to the the pre-period thing . If you are old enough to be getting married you are old enough not to cry about having been told (even by text) that your fiance has to work on your birthday and won’t be in till late.
Woman up OP, life will throw you much worse stuff than this to cry about. You know this anyway , I realise . I just dont want you to throw yoruself at him sniffling when he gets home from a probably quite boring and wearing trip !
Post # 10
I’m sorry but it’s really not a big deal. He’s working to maintain his job and make money for you both as a couple. You’ll have plenty more birthdays and, as others suggest, you can celebrate on another day. There are many less fortunate in world, count your blessings. Periods aren’t an excuse in the adult world nor should they be used as one like they are so heavily. If you always jump to attack his work or how his trips are timed, you can create a lot of negativity on such a new relationship/marriage. Give the man some slack. Take a deep breath. Look into something that may help with your stress…I hear yoga or Pilates is a great outlet.
Post # 11
I’m glad you’ve vented here rather than to him.
Sorry he won’t be around for your whole birthday but this is work. I worked 12 hours my last birthday and presume I’ve usually been at work for OH’s. If he or I had to be away for a birthday there would be flowers and a phone call but no tears on either side.
Between 21 and 100, adult birthdays are a nice excuse for a bit of fuss, but shouldn’t be a biggy or a cause for tears.
I think texting this to you is just fine, he’s letting you know as soon as he knows. If an adult friend mildly, complained to me about her OH being away for her birthday I’d commiserate, if she bawled I’d be internally commiserating with her OH and gently trying to give her a sense of perspective.
Post # 12
Agree with other PPs – birthdays are fun for a fuss, but no reason for tears. You can celebrate either beforehand or after. I’ll be in a conference for work all day on my birthday this week. I could care less – it is what it is and I’ll celebrate the next day. 🙂 Go bet a pedicure or a massage, then celebrate with him when he returns. 🙂
Post # 13
First, totally get the period emotional thing. I was sobbing the other day when Flynn Rider said he prefers brunettes in Tangled.
But anyway…. don’t get to upset about him missing your day, Fiance and I have yet to be together on my birthday, EVER. We’re long distance so we won’t get to celebrate my b-day together until we are married. Maybe you’ll get something fun delievered or in the mail! Spend your day celebrating with your girl friends or treat yourself to a relaxing night in.
Post # 14
summerbride2016: I’m sorry about the crappy family stuff. That is so hard at the holidays. As for your birthday he’s done nothing wrong so just let him know something lowkey and fun you would like to do when he returns!
Post # 15
craigslistgirl: that is a great idea 🙂 I joined those and the month of my birthday, I get all kinds of free stuff from B&R, Emerald Loop Grill, Sephora, IHop, Noodles and co