(Closed) FI moving 5 hours away for a job!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Oh wow.. I’m sorry! I can’t imagine being away from my hubby for even a week! I’m a very independent person, but still.. Well, hopefully your FH won’t end up being gone for 6 months. Will you be able to talk to him on a regular basis still? Jobs are really important, and it sounds like you both have really given this a lot of thought and decided that it was the right step for you financially, especially with the new house. My only advice is to hang in there, keep yourself occupied and enjoy fixing up your new house while he’s gone, so when he gets back it will look great 🙂 Also, you always have WB to keep you company when you get too lonely.

Post # 5
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I can understand how it would definately not be in the plan, but then again, him losing his job last year was definately NOT in the plan either! I’m glad you will get to see him every other weekend at least! That’s a lot better than not at all for a couple of months. Hopefully if you were counting on any of his help for the planning process he will still be able to help you via the internet & phone convos!

Post # 6
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Awww.  That sucks.  The good thing is that he got a job!  And him coming home every other weekend will be great.  Maybe some of the weekends he can’t come home you can go there and visit him?  Also, making phone dates is important, so that you can stay in touch.  Have you heard of Skype?  That would also be good since you will be able to actually see each other as you talk.  Hopefully it will only be 2 months, and maybe he can help with DIY projects since you think he will be bored in the extended stay hotel!

Post # 7
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh that sucks!

Last your my Fiance got a job change which affected us badly and I was a baby about it for a long time. He hasn’t moved away but we know work completely opposite schedules. I work 3:30-4:30 M-F and he works 3:30-11:30 T-S. So we really on see each other on Sundays. It sucks sometimes but you really get used to it. I said that I could only do it for 6 months and we are going on a year right now! Hopefully he will get switched off this shift soon.

It will get easier and you will get through it. It strengthened our relationship actually and I hope this experience does the same for you!

Post # 9
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think you need to assume it will be 6 months so you aren’t constantly dissapointed if it gets pushed farther/pushed farther and are pleasantly surprised if it is 2 months. 

And I think he needs to do it. It SUCKS, no doubt, but it is 6 mo of your life then you are back together in such a better financial place. 

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh that really sucks. Nothing like a last minute nasty surprise

Expect the worst, hope for the best. I kinda think he really has no choice–he needs a job! That’s just life and it’s pretty cruel to everyone right now.

its ony 6 months–it’ll give you guys lots of stability hopefully. In the meantime, he can keep looking for jobs in your city!

after all, love is great, but love can’t pay the bills.

Try not ot move back in with your mom….stay independent. It’s part of building a life together, not moving back in with the parents. I know this was an option for most of the miltiary wives I met and it was HIGHLY discouraged. It causes a strain on the relationship and basically causes retroversion they said. Don’t let yourself THINK it’s ok to be a ‘baby’ about it. Just keep telling yourself “i can do this!” and you will. But if you think you’ll handle it poorly…you will. And it is SO much harder when you wallow in it. Seriously.

Post # 12
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would expect the worst as well.  Instead of hoping and wishing it is only 2 months, I would plan for 6 months.  Even so, you can make it because you will be pretty busy with wedding planning to keep yourself busy.  It is difficult but it will be better for his career in the long run and for you financially so that you aren’t struggling with the new house.

Post # 14
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know it’s upsetting, but honestly we don’t really remember the closing on our house much.  It is actually pretty boring, just signing things over and over (everything is in triplicate).  It is going to be hard to begin the nesting process in the house without him.  I do understand why he doesn’t want to drive back since it would pretty much be him driving 10 hours in a day or two which is completely miserable.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You need to talk to Fiance face to face and tell him again how important it is that you close together. His parents should really mind their own business. While I can see how that much driving would suck, it’s YOUR & FI’s FIRST house together and that is a big deal. If his new work gave him the OK he should take it and be thankful.

p.s. we are 10/16/10 twins Laughing

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you need a deep breath.

First of all, this is not the first time ANY of us have discussed stuff with our parents, and in turn, they have said stuff that changed our minds.

But yeah,a 5 hour drive there, just to turn around and come back to sign a paper for the house…well, not so monumental.

I don’t even THINK about the day we signed paperwork on the house. Really! Maybe you are trying to hard to grasp at straws for the purpose of sentimentality?

If it’s more logical, why can’t you just see that site? Your opinion matters, I’m sure, but it’s not the most logical one in this instance.

The fact that you’re freaking out in the lobby–you need to go for a walk or something, calm down, deep breath.

This is life. Sometimes it gets in the way of what we imagine to be wonderful in our head. Then again, you’re talking to a military wife–going with the flow is the name of our game.

The topic ‘FI moving 5 hours away for a job!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors