(Closed) FI moving 5 hours away for a job!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

To play Devil’s Advocate–you DID acknowledge that this way was more logical. You want him to do what you want to do, even if it technically doesn’t make as much sense? I know it’s easy to let emotions and what we *want* cloud what makes sense. 

If you really want your way, put your foot down about it.

Just be prepared–5 hour drives are LONG and he may not come home Every. Single. Weekend. I’ve found that sometimes work takes up SO MUCH of my time during the week that I literally need the weekend to put my life in order. Your Fiance may find that he needs to clean/do laundry/run errands/etc and that he needs a weekend there.

Post # 19
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think it will be ok. The big thing here is the fact that he has a job, and while you both will have to be apart for a while, in the long-term, this is going to be financial security. I’d rather my Fiance have a job and live 5 hours away than not have a job and live at home with money being tight. The Fiance had to do a 3 month rotation in NC (6 hours away) last summer, and I thought it would be so awful. I went down at least once every three weeks, and it went by quickly. I’m really glad we had the experience, because now we know what it would be like if we had to be apart because of work for an extended period of time. If anything, being apart made the being together time more special and not taken for granted!

Post # 21
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

it’s definitely a lot to take in happening so fast, but it will be okay! it’s only temporary, and it sounds like a really great opportunity for him. when we first started dating, my fi made a very last minute decision to apply to a master’s program in the uk because he heard they still had openings, was accepted, and moved across an ocean, all in a few weeks time. it was completely insane and happened just so, so fast. but, in the end, i actually think it brought us closer because we had to be a lot more purposeful about keeping in touch and being grateful for each other. that was way before we were engaged, so it’s not really the same, at all, but i just wanted to say i’ve been there, and it sucks, but it will be okay 🙂

Post # 23
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s going to be ok. It sucks to be apart, but I find that when Fiance is gone (which is often: we’re both in the army. he left yesterday for a month 🙁 ) I really appreciate him when he gets home. I use the time he’s gone to do something I normally wouldn’t have time to do. Sometimes I clean the house, or one room. Sometimes I treat myself to dinner that he doesn’t like, sometimes I just bask in not sharing the remote! 

I know it feels like forever, but the two months will go by fast. Hopefully you can plan a few visits during the two months. Use the time apart to focus on why you’re together in the first place! Being apart for long periods of time deepens relationships In My Humble Opinion. At the very least…I’m really happy that he found a job! 

Good luck, and you can always come to WB to let us know how you’re doing or if you’re feeling lonely!

Post # 25
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I feel your pain, and I wanted to share my trick for dealing with long periods of time apart.  In the first 4 years we were together, we apart for about a year–probably a little more.  I got through it by setting goals for myself during the time apart–things I was definitely going to accomplish before we were reunited.  Whether it was improving my time on my mile run, reading a book series he had always wanted me to read, redecorating a room, etc, etc….something that would keep me occupied, challenge me, and be something that I could regale him with stories of when we talked.  Oh, and webcams….being able to see each other when you talk is the best. thing. ever.  You’re going to do great!

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