(Closed) FI not budgeting as promised :( upsetting.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

When he sends you those texts, ask him why he’s home already. You’re right in that you aren’t going to get paid the hours if you don’t work the hours. He needs to start buckling down and working more in order to get that bigger paycheck. Why did he come home at noon today? I would text him back and tell him to get back at work!!

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Talk to him and ask him how many hours he wants to work that week on Sunday. Crunch the numbers with him and show him how 20 hrs a week just barely pays the bills. Use concrete language. Instead of, “I want/need you I work more. Why are you home? Please stay later!” say things like, “You need to work X hrs to make $x this week. If you want us to get married by X date, at this rate, we will have $x saved if you continue to work x hrs like you did last pay period. 

If he still comes home early, say, on a Tuesday, you can say, “I see you’re not working this afternoon. Are you planning on making up the hours Wednesday or Thursday?” 

Post # 7
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m confused…does he hate his job? Because it sounds like he is trying to get fired!

 

EDIT: I just read about the voluntary time off—you may not kow the whole situation, he may be strongly pressured to go home early–companies don’t want to pay employees when they don’t have to–they can’t MAKE him leave but they can strongly imply he should

 

Maybe it’s time for him to find a more  dependable full time job

Post # 8
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

What kind of job does he work at that he can just come home halfway through a shift? Is he in danger of loosing his job?

Post # 9
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@athame1983:  not necesarily. I worked a job where they offered early release (same thing as VTO) to us when things were slow. It was encouraged so the compnay didn’t waste their money paying 25 people to do the same job that 15 could handle. So 10 people were allowed to go home with no penalty. He wouldn’t be fired for doing that.

OP, it’s VERY tempting when you’re offered to go home, but he seriously needs to get his act together. He’s an adult with financial commitments. I’d be worried about marrying him until he can prove he’s willing to work for a comfortable life for the both of you.

Post # 11
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Is your Fiance overwhelmed with the budget?  Maybe he is self sabotaging so you can’t get married that soon….

I hope it works out for you…

Post # 12
Member
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Glad that he’s agreed to a compromise. But i would definately set out a policy of “If we can’t keep to our earning goals (AKA if you can’t keep from leaving early every day” then we will have to push back the wedding to accomodate.” If this then that. So it’s not you being the bad guy. It’s on him.

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

how the heck can he just up and leave work early?! I need to find myself a job where no one says anything if I peace out early!  Honestly, regardless of the wedding he needs to be staying at his job for a whole shift – that would worry me regardless of saving for a wedding because it is an indicator of his motivation and willingness to be a good provider for his family.  I’d be pissed if I were you.

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My Fiance and I started taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University together before we got engaged (it is one night a week for 13 weeks, although they just released a new version so going forward it will only be 9 weeks). It goes over how to handle money in a relationship, budgeting, saving, preparing for the future, avoiding debt, protecting yourselves with insurance, etc in great detail.

It is EXCELLENT marriage prep and I’d highly recommend it! Money problems are one of the biggest stressors in a marriage and causes of divorce so you might as well try and work through it now.

If you can’t attend a live class or there isn’t one in your area, you can also go through the class together online – although I’d recommend going live if you can.

Fiance and I are both very good with money, have no problems budgeting/saving, and so on – but this class has brought up great conversations for us. I’d suggest looking into something you guys go together to learn, rather than you having to be the one nagging him.

Dave Ramsey also has a book The Total Money Makeover. It’s a great book but not as good at acting as marriage prep, in my opinion, as FPU. You can also download Dave’s podcast every day for free and start learning his principles. Fiance and I listen to it together sometimes in the car, again – great conversation starter.

I think once you guys get to really budgeting together and having a written plan, on paper, on purpose, before the month begins, he’ll start to see how his income choices are negatively impacting that budget. And the budget isn’t just for wedding, he’ll be able to build in fun stuff for himself too, so when he drops hours he’ll have to choose what he wants to cut, you know?

Hope that helps!

Post # 15
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@xnikkibobikkix:  “I know he has never been the best with budgeting but I was really hoping our wedding would be enough incentive to really stick to it.”

My two cents: It’s a mistake to think that your fiance will be a different person than your boyfriend.

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