(Closed) FI NOT excited to wear ring. At all.

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 31
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

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texaslemon:  you are looking for an e ring or a w ring? my husband did not want to wear a wedding ring at all. a lot of men around here do not. but a lot of them have really tough grubby jobs. some where it around their necks and some not at all. DH wanted to not wear one like his dad and i was like hell to the F-ing no. and even since them because he does take it off for work and will forget it back on. ive just stressed to him. and now he understands. i also tell him that other women will look at your hand and assess you. and i want them to know you are taken. i know that sounds selfish but thats just the way the cookie crumbles. sure enough the other day a friend and i were talking at a party and she looked at him from across the room and said “your husband doesnt wear a ring?” and sure enough it was actually on the wrong hand lol. but i said, see i told you women check those things out. dont worry it will eventually grow on him. when my DH first had it on he complained about how he can feel it and hes never wore rings before. i just told him it will eventually feel like its apart of you. youll get used to it.. for me

Post # 32
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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texaslemon:  Tell him to get it tattooed on if he doesn’t want a metal ring. lol

Post # 33
Member
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My husband wasn’t all that “excited” about it either. He can’t wear it during the week because of his job, and only wears it on weekends if he remembers (or I remind him!).

I would just explain to him that it’s important to you that he has a ring he will actually want to wear, and hopefully he’ll come around. But, I wouldn’t take it too seriously either, as men are just weird sometimes 

Post # 34
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

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texaslemon:  I think you’re overreacting a bit. My husband started out wanting to wear his everyday before and after work but after a couple weeks of “where did I put that?” he just leaves it in the box unless he’s traveling for work, so women know he’s married, or if we’re going to something like a family event. I don’t think it makes you any less married if he doesn’t want to wear a piece of jewelry. 

Post # 35
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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texaslemon:  My Fiance wasn’t too pleased about the ring thing either. He doesn’t like things on his hands – he doesn’t even wear watches. For him, it was really a ‘UGH this feels so WEIRD there’s something TOUCHING MY HAND”. At first, when he was sitting making faces at all the rings, I was admittedly a bit hurt. But once we were out of the store, he told me that 1 – he doesn’t like things on his hands and 2 – he really doesnt’ like the look of the traditional plain bands. They just didn’t fit with what he was looking for but he was also frustrated with himself that he couldn’t really figure out what he was looking for. Once we talked through it a bit and looked at more unique bands, he came up with something he would want to look at. Once he got that band on his finger at the store, there was no wincing or face-making (other than when he couldn’t figure out how to get it off…guy’s got big knuckles lol). 

I totally understand that you’d be upset – I definitely was – but I would ask your Fiance directly what’s bugging him about the ring. I would have never guessed why my Fiance wasn’t too pleased, but it turned out to be a simple thing that was fixable. 

Post # 36
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

am I the only one here that is perfectly fine with Fiance not wearing his rings. He works with his hands (technician) and it would get full of oil, scratched or even snagged on something. He wanted yellow gold because it’s a classic look but I’m sure it’s going to stay in the box more than out. When we do go out he’s pretty heavy into the jewelry (necklace and watches) so I’m sure that’s when he’ll choose to wear it!! It’s a symbol but doesn’t make or break a marriage! 

Post # 37
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

No advice except to say I’ve been married for two weeks and my now husband doesn’t like wearing his ring.  He was excited to choose it but doesn’t like wearing it.  

He told me he will give it two months and then see if he will contine to wear it.  It doesn’t help that none of his married guy friends wear their rings (my husband works in IT, as do his friends so no excuse there).  It’s fine with me.  I don’t really care as he’s still my husband.  I have asked him to wear it when we go on evenings out or traveling, etc.  

Post # 38
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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DanielleI:  No, I don’t care either.

 

MY DH had been married (briefly) before and he had got a wedding ring for that and never enjoyed wearing it. We discussed early on how he would rather not wear a wedding ring and I was fine with that (I didn’t wear and engagement ring either and have just chosen to wear a wedding band). If someone wants to know if he is married they can ask and he will tell them. And I still feel ‘tied’ to him even without the symbolism of a ring of metal on his finger. I got him a watch he had been lusting after as his wedding day gift and he loves to wear that, says he feels naked without it and proudly tells everyone who asks about it (it’s a koa wood one, quite unusual to see, so people comment on it) that it was what he got on the wedding day instead of a ring. Maybe you need to find something else he would like to wear if he is really dead against having a ring?

Post # 39
Member
14149 posts
Honey Beekeeper

None of the men in our family ever wore a wedding ring in a regular basis. Not a cheater in the bunch. It didn’t and doesn’t bother me at all. 

Post # 40
Member
9275 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lolot:  The OP isn’t compromising. She wants her husband to wear the ring end of story. That is the definition of not compriomising. But as I pointed out on this forum it is always the men that have to compromise, not the women. 

At the end of the day what someone chooses to wear or do with their body is their own choice. If it was a husband telling his wife to not wear skirts or that she had to wear a ring then everyone would be up in arms about it. It is such a double standard that runs rampant on this website. 

Post # 42
Member
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

texaslemon:  my husband is not the jewelry wearing type. we did get him a ring, but he never wears it.  its not his style and he cant wear it work.  does not make him any less married or committed to me.  I can honestly say that him not wearing it does not bother me at all.

Now that i think of it – my dad doesnt wear a ring either.

Post # 43
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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DanielleI:  DH wears a ring most of the time.  I honestly don’t care.  That is probably because I don’t wear a ring!  It’s uncomfy to me so I only wear mine on very special occassions.  <br /><br />Any other wives not wear rings either?

Post # 44
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My sister’s husband has never worn it. I understand not everyone is used to it but you can at least try.. I mean nothing is going to happen to him. And i think wedding band looks hot haha

where i live a guy already has a band when engaged and my Fiance never takes it off he likes to show that he is getting married haha

Post # 45
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

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j_jaye:  I don’t think men always compromise and women don’t, unless maybe you are talking only about the ring issue.  My husband didn’t particularly want to wear a ring.  It was important to me.  I didn’t particularly want to change my name.  It was important to him.  He wears a ring.  I changed my name.  We both gave on something that was important to our partner.

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