(Closed) FI not invited to cousin's wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Someone should probably tell her that it is never OK to invite someone to a shower and not a wedding, unless it’s an office shower.

It’s her wedding, so she can invite whomever she wants, but that doesn’t mean her actions aren’t rude. In your place I definitely would decline the invite. 

Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Eh she’s a tool.  I would send my regrets to her wedding and not go.  It’s one flipping person and y’all are getting married right after her.  She’s playing games and you shouldn’t put up with it.  

Post # 5
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would call her and tell her that you really can’t make the trip alone but that you understand her choice so if another space opens up as No’s come in to please let you know so that you can attend (with your FI).

Post # 6
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s actually very inconsiderate and rude of her, especially because of the invitations to previous events. Don’t feel bad for even a second if you choose to decline. 

Post # 7
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

She made her decision to only invite married couples, and you are free to make your decision not to attend without your Fiance. It’s reasonable to me.

Post # 8
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Definitely rude. I’m inviting couples who have been together for a while and I’m aware of them. Otherwise no we’re limiting the plus ones… but your Fiance thats pretty rude.

Post # 9
Member
8180 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s a dick move. I would decline.

Post # 11
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@geekspice:  +1

she was extremely rude to invite your Fiance to the shower and not the wedding. it’s also pretty rude to say only married couples when you two will be married 3 weeks later.

Post # 12
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@IcaJess13:  Exactly, especially since she is family. I don’t think rudeness requires rudeness in return, especially when you’re dealing with someone close to you. It’s better to try to reach out and promote a way for everyone to be happy and have their needs respected. If you don’t attend, it should be (as you’ve said) because you can’t make the trip alone, not out of retaliation for her etiquette snafu.

Post # 14
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

From my perspective I think she is being rude because our family adults all have plus ones if they’re in relationships. Thinking about it now….All of our guests who are in serious relationships all have plus ones! 

Is there anyway you could talk to her about this? Bring it up casually? Maybe if she sees it from your point of view she’ll invite your Fiance. 

Post # 15
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We see this opposite on the Bee all the time- a bride just wants to invite married couples, or couples who live together, or blah blah blah blah. From the other side, the Bees answer is almost always “do what you want, but expect some people to decline, or beg to allow another guest and isn’t that rude?”

So, I would say, decline if you dont want to go alone. Don’t ask for an additional spot. 

 

Post # 16
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@cirk:  “So, I would say, decline if you dont want to go alone. Don’t ask for an additional spot.” 

I would normally agree with this, but in OP’s case, since this is her cousin and she and Fiance will be married so soon, I think it’s reasonable to call and verbally decline while giving the cousin the reason why. This (1) lets the cousin know that what she did is wrong without being a bitch about it and (2) opens up the possibility of solving the situation.

The topic ‘FI not invited to cousin's wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors