(Closed) FI not pulling his weight with wedding plans? Normal?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How much does your FI help with wedding planning?
    I can't make a decision without him, we are both equally involved : (22 votes)
    13 %
    He takes control mostly : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I take control mostly : (71 votes)
    40 %
    I do everything on my own : (55 votes)
    31 %
    He does the typically 'groom' jobs like honeymoon, music etc : (24 votes)
    14 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @EnglishWifey:  i do EVERYTHING. He came with me to the appointments but didn’t really care about anything. His only request was we had cheesecake. I am a big control freak, so I don’t know what would have happened if he really cared about stuff. His mom helps alot though, she doesn’t work so pretty much just sits on etsy and emails me ideas lol

    Post # 5
    Member
    7218 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @EnglishWifey:  How is he about planning other aspects of your future? For example, Fiance has no interest in planning or wedding and will only help with items I specifically tell him I need help with and give him a specific tast. However, he has our retirement plan all figured out and our plans for buying cars, having kids, and basically any financial situation. So even though he has no interest in wedding planning he is definitely planning for our future.

     

    It is frustrating though because when I ask for his help he always tells me “You know so much more about it than I do” which is true. I put him in charge of planning the rehearsal dinner and table numbers. So far nothing has gotten done, but hopefully he will figure it out soon…

    Post # 7
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Men don’t usually care about weddings. At the end of the day they just want to be married to you. They don’t care about venues, flowers, colors or DJs. They’ll probably care about food and little else.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Fi works 17 hour days he really has nothing to do with wedding planning. Except things like “which do you like better?” He picks one that’s it lol. He picked our food for the menu but he’s a chef so that was expected. He just wants to know how muh things cost. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think thats pretty normal. My Fiance tells me all the time how he is excited to marry me, can’t wait for the wedding, etc. However, he really has had no part in any of the planning/decisions. His only request was red velvet as one of our cake layers. He goes to all the meetings with the vendors, but he mainly just sits and listens (including the lighting, music, etc). I think he just isn’t interested in design or wedding details at all and it isn’t any testiment of how he feels about the actual wedding in general or marriage.

    I also planned/booked the entire honeymoon (though we both agreed on the destination from the beginning). My Fiance takes charge regarding other things in our lives, he just isnt particularly interested in weddings. I think you may be looking too much into his distinterest in this.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @EnglishWifey:  I know how you feel. When I began planning I overwhelmed myself and my husband was no support. It ended in me cracking and we had a little spat over it. To this day he doesn’t care about what happens in June. I outsourced my responsibilities to friends and family and made my life easier. I don’t involve husband unless I have to, since he literally does not care.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2379 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    i did everything, he would have helped but i just knew what i wanted and he wasnt worried (trusted my taste) so i just had free reigns! and i loved it! i got what i wanted and he didnt “miss out on anything”  cos he wsant too worried either way! he did choose the cake flavour and the type of meal we had (buffet or sit down – he chose buffet of course)

    Post # 13
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @EnglishWifey:  lol mine is the same. We got save the date samples, I looked at them for like 4 days! He came in & picked one in like 2secs! Lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My Fiance has not done shiz; which is fine by me!… I am planning with my mom and aunt. I run things by him but he’s super easy going, he couldn’t care less.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t worry about how this will affect your future. It’s a wedding and generally speaking, most men know that women think about this things (stereo-typically anyway) all the time, since we were kids. Most of the time, they want to step out of the way, since they know we’re going to dive in ourselves!

    I bet if he was planning something he has been thinking about for a long time, he would be all over it. 😉

    The topic ‘FI not pulling his weight with wedding plans? Normal?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors