From the off, I didn’t expect him to take any interest at all in things like the stationery, flowers etc, and knew these would fall to me; it can be a bit annoying, but, there you go; and TBF, I do have a bit of interest in these things, so guess it makes sense for me to deal with them. I’ve also done all the leg-work in terms of narrowing down venues, photographers etc, though we have chosen all the ‘big’ things (venue; photographer; cake; menu choices; rings; honeymoon; etc) together; he had very particular ideas, as did I (luckily we agreed on everything) so he did have equal input with these things.
However, I did get really annoyed with him a few weeks ago, as there were things I needed to discuss (mainly, the guest list) and he was dragging his heels. I ended up telling him that despite what he thinks, I don’t actually enjoy spending hours and hours researching and emailing venues/photographers, and that he should consider himself lucky that I’ve done all the leg-work, and that he has to only look through the short-list of the best of the best. I also said that the ‘magic wedding fairy’ hasn’t planned this, that it;’s taken me hours, and that while I don’t expect him to take an interest in everything, when I DO ask for help/input, I bloody well expect to receive it. In my case, I was doubly annoyed because it was HIM, not me, who wanted a big, flash, expensive wedding; I was happy with a simple, cheap and cheerful reception at a local pub!
He apologised, and then I made a list of what we’ve done, and what still needs to be done, and I think seeing the sheer volume of things that still need to be done in black and white gave him a kick up the bum. He’s been much more helpful since then, coming to a wedding fair with me, coming to appointments with a baker and photographers, actually sitting down and finalising the guest list and menu options, etc. So, maybe that’s something you could consider?
As far as how it bodes for later in life: in my case, I know that I will be the one making most of the big decisions, such as finding a property to rent and later to buy, managing home improvements/building work, dealing with the finances, etc. I don’t mind, as I’m good at these things, and he helps in other ways (DIY, cleaning, etc). If you feel like this may be the case for you, and you’re not happy, I do think this is something you need to discuss.