(Closed) FI not putting me first

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

UGH so my previous comment was “WTF WHAT?” because I honestly can’t believe this crap. Now that I’ve had time to compose myself, I’ll tell you this- don’t even give him an ultimatum, because this is giving him yet another chance that he doesn’t deserve. Your first inclination that he isn’t the right guy should have been the fact that he even considered date night and a sleepover with this girl- not once but TWICE and then didn’t care that you were upset about it. In what world would a man expect his fiance to not be upset about him having a sleepover with another woman? Either he knows you will continue to allow him to have his cake and eat it too, or he really just doesn’t give a fuck. Either way, this is NOT marriage material. This entire situation is disrespectful and inappropriate.

Bottom line- he doesn’t care about you, your feelings or your engagement. He already made a decision, so trying to force his hand isn’t going to do you any good. Even if he does choose you and cut off contact with this girl (which I HIGHLY doubt) you will always have that feeling in the back of your mind that his actions werent genuine, and every time he steps foot out the door or he “sleeps over his mom’s house” you will be wondering if hes with her and just lying to you about it so he doesn’t have to deal with your crying. I guarantee that day is coming if you don’t end this with him now.

 

Post # 92
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not one of those girls who believes men and women can’t be friends. My husband and I have long-standing friends of both genders and occasionally spend one on one time with those friends (with significant others ALWAYS invited and welcome).

But sleepovers?! Hell no. No no no no. When I say one on one time, I mean like lunch. Happy hour. A long run. And again, spouses/SOs always invited and welcome. I’m sorry but there is no way this girl has platonic intentions and your fiance is definitely interested in her as well. This is the beginning of the end for your relationship, whether or not you want to admit it at this point. I’m so sorry.  

Post # 93
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

ineedadvice:  Honey just from past experince JUST LIKE YOURS. If he automatically chooses “couples counseling” over ENDING things like this with the “other girl” which she is..then that is called CHEATING. If he really want to be your future husband he would have choosen end ALL communication with her. This “other girl” wants him ALL of him and she is slowly getting what she wants. Girl put your foot down and walk away from him! There is no need in hurting yourself and embarassing yourself when he is talking to this chick having a grand ole time at the expense of your relationship and your feelings!

I just feel horrible for you and am embarassed for you! Girl open your eyes and realize he wants this girl and will not break things off with her.

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