FI of BM, friend of groom: Relegated to a table of strangers?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Would you go to a wedding if you were sitting without your friends and OH?
    Yes : (95 votes)
    81 %
    No : (15 votes)
    13 %
    Only if the seating plan was changed : (7 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Have you not been to a lot of weddings before? I don’t mean to be rude, but this is typically how weddings go. The Bridal Party will sit with the Bride and Groom. As you are not in the bridal party, you will be seated at a different table.

    It’s not meant as a way to be rude to you. It really has nothing to do with you. You won’t be in the bridal party pictures either, even though you are close with the groom and groomsmen. He picked his groomsmen and you are not one of them, nor are you a bridesmaid. That doesn’t mean you are not friends with them or they hate you or don’t care about you.

    Being the SO of a bridal party member kind of just means riding solo until later in the reception. You will sit in the church by yourself (since your SO is up front) and you will sit by yourself at dinner. (By yourself, I mean without your SO). 

    I am sorry for the other things you have going on in your life, but this has nothing to do with you. It’s not being mean or them excluding you. I think it’s over the top to think that because you and the groom both have social anxiety, they will ask you to sit at the head table and sit in the front of the church. I don’t mean to be rude, but the day isn’t about you. I am sure they want their guests to be comfortable, but that’s just extreme.

    Post # 62
    Member
    2081 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’m a pretty social person, and I think it’s completely rude to sit you somewhere else. Of course you won’t be comfortable sitting at a table full of strangers when all your friends and your SO are having fun a few tables away from you. The fact that you don’t know anyone at your assigned table is very much the couple’s problem and concern and they should address it by moving you to the head table. IMO, there could not be a more clear form of exclusion than telling you to sit elsewhere. I’m sorry, Bee.

    Post # 63
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    When my best friend got married, and I was Maid/Matron of Honor, I had only been in a relationship for around a month with my (now) ex-bf.  She said he could come and would probably sit with the SO’s of the other bridesmaids, as she had the typical head table with bride, groom, and bridal party.  However, when on the day of the wedding, he was seated at a different table.  But he was able to mingle and interact with my family after eating, and I got to spend a little time with him after, and it wasn’t a huge deal.

    Quite a few years later, after a breakup and starting a relationship with my now-FI, my now-FI was a groomsman in a friend’s wedding.  His friend had the bridal party table but it included SO’s.  So I got to sit with my now-FI during the reception.

    For our wedding, we are planning on a sweetheart table and having the bridal party, their SO’s, and kids sit together.  Probably will take at least 2 tables depending if all the kids come!  But we wanted to be sure our guests, whether in bridal party or not, sit with their partners!

    That being said, every wedding is different.  I feel for you – I’m introverted, and sometimes hard for me to strike up conversations!  But make the most of the time and maybe you can meet some new people and make new friends during the meal.  If not, you can spend some time with your SO after the meal for the rest of the reception.

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