(Closed) FI overpaid on a bachelor party BIG TIME–what should we do?

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m sorry but I think maybe your Fiance didn’t lay out the plan well enough to the rest of the guys and the costs are MUCH more than a normal low key night would have been.


Is that the case?  Because if so, I’d eat the money and call it a lesson to be honest and REALLY upfront about shared costs.

Post # 4
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

if they all agreed to the plan, then everyone who attended should split the costs equally.  Your Fiance needs take ownership of this and call them and tell them how much they owe.

Post # 5
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ouch…did your Fiance tell the other guys how much it was going to cost before hand – even a ballpark figure?

i guess he could send a generic email to all of them, spelling out the cost and saying something like ‘as agreed beforehand, this comes to $$$ per person” and see what repsonse he get

if he didnt forwarn people how much it was costing then i wouldnt push it too much with the others, if they come up with the cash then good but if they dont, i think hes going to have to bite this one

yikes – sorry for the hassle


Post # 6
900 posts
Busy bee

I agree with Miss Sapphire.  The other guys, when they agreed to the party, might not have thought they were signing up for a $1,200 outing.  $200 is a reasonable amount for them to have contributed to a bachelor party.  He can certainly ask for more money, but if the other guys didn’t know the plan, I think they would be completely justified if they said no.

If I went to a bachelorette party expecting to pay my way and found myself walking into something totally extravagant, I would go with the flow so as not to ruin it for the bride, but I wouldn’t contribute anything that was unreasonable if I hadn’t agreed to it beforehand.

Post # 7
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’d send out an email to the guys.  Tell them, after totally the costs, the entire party came out to $1200.  You can word it and mention that some people have already contributed cash, etc.  Since your Fiance was the planner, the guys may have done things differently and been more cost effective, etc.  And, if there was no clear plan set, he may have to eat the costs.  But, it’s worth sending out and email to let them know how much it really was – to see if they are willing to contribute more, etc.

Post # 8
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

If your Fiance and the other guys agreed to this $1200 bachelor party, then the other guys need to pony up.

If the guys didn’t agree to this budget, you can plead your case, but they are under no obligation to split the cost equally.  

Post # 10
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think the one groomsman who didn’t attend but said he’d offset costs probably did his fair share (unless it was specified they’d split it evenly). 

I’d figure the unattending one would have chipped in for his portion of the grooms portion of the bill – which seems to be about right.  ie:  4 guys attending, one being the groom.  The cost for each person is $250.  

If 4 people (the 3 that attended plus the one that didn’t) are splitting the cost for that person, that’s $62.50 each (for the groom’s costs).  So, the $100 he contributed is MORE than fair.  

Which means, yes, the other 3 should split the rest of the $900 bill (ie: $300/each).

Post # 11
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I don’t think it is too much!

Post # 12
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would have asked everyone to pony up before the initial deal since they all knew what it was going to cost. You said the unattending groomsman handed over $200- I’d let him leave it at that. The other 2 should give you another $200 each if they only paid $100. I agree with PP saying that you should send out some kind of e-mail or something.

I am surprised about the cost, but idk what area you’re in. Knowing that my Fiance is in college and we’re pinching pennies I wouldn’t want him spending that much money on someone else’s party when we have other worries.

Good luck and I hope the other guys pay up!

Post # 13
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Oh that sucks, however I agree with the majority above me. Your Fiance can explain the situation & ask for money, but no one is really obligated to pay him back. He planned it & he should have discussed money BEFORE the weekend away. He should call up the other guy who didn’t pay anything & ask for atleast $200 (what the non-attending Groomsmen paid) or even more since he actually was apart of it. I hope you see some money come your way… 🙂

Also, just because someone is a doctor or lawyer it doesn’t mean they’re loaded. They come out of school with ridiculous amounts of student loans, they pay lots for insurance, etc. Unless these guys are in their 40s or 50s they probably aren’t as rich as you’d think. It’s a major misconception!!!

Post # 14
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think that the guy who is not a groomsman shouldn’t have to pay as much as the groomsmen.  Since he did attend, it is fair for him to pay something, which he did, but I don’t think you can ask him to split it evenly with the other groomsmen.  Just my opinion.

Post # 16
2765 posts
Sugar bee

If he tells his friends, “Sorry guys – I’m just a grad student and I can’t pay my rent unless I get more help with this bachelor party”… his friends will man up and pay more.

In my experience, a lot of guys are just lazy about stuff like this… but generous if you spell it out.  Good luck!!

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