(Closed) FI, rabbi and me

posted 8 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

In the end I think it is important that BOTH voices are heard in the ceremony. Mr. Hedgie is Jewish and I am Christian and it has been a challange to make sure both our beliefs are as equally represented as possible but worth it. So there will be things I am not a HUGE fan of but are important to him. (Like both his parents awlking him down the aisle. I don’t know why that bugs me so much but it does.) So as long as you make sure that your beliefs are represented then having Jewish aspects will be a lot easier for you. I hope that made any sense.

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that it would be easier if you had beliefs that could be incorporated into the ceremony. The problem with agnosticism is that they don’t have any (universal, at least) traditions to be performed at a religious ceremony, so if you’re not feeling motivated to create them I think that your Fi’s traditions are going to overpower the ceremony by virtue of the fact that he has an example schedule to follow. 


You need to decide what you would put into your ceremony to make it “you” and do those things. If you’re uncomfortable with a Hebrew prayer, what would you want in its place?

Post # 6
374 posts
Helper bee

This is a red flag and if you don’t address it now, it will come up again when you have children.  What about high holy days?  Will he go off to temple without you?  Will you beholding sit at his family’s Sedar?   What about the creater picture after the wedding ceremony?

The side of the coin that he doesn’t see, is that the Jewish religion is a maternal faith. So if the mom isn’t Jewish, the kids aren’t.

I would insist on having someone from the Unitarian Church who would balance this service out.  Unitarians can be many things and nothing.  Find one in your area and call the spiritual leader.

I feel uncomfortable that you are uncomfortable. 

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