(Closed) FI said that none of his friends….(long vent)

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The rehersal dinner is often the first time many of the bride and groom’s families actually meet before the ceremony.  Also, it’s important that any in the wedding party know what to expect, when to arrive and the layout of the church or place the ceremony will be hled, etc.  Also, though I know your Fi probably doens’t want to hear it, it’s not only about what you two want – you are both facing expectations of older relatives – had he qualms about this, he should have set up a trip to Vegas.  

As for free loading friends, there’s really no way around it.  If people choose to attend and be there for jsut the party, then you just ahv to do your best to be gracious.  One thing I leanred that some couples do (frat couples who have a lot of ‘brothers’ show up for free drinks) is a Honeymoon Shot Fund, where the Best Man or other male than the groom, go saying they will take a shot with you for a donation to the Honeymonn fund – one couple got several hundred dollars of ‘donations’ this way.  It might be sneaky, but it got them to contribute to the couples’ happiness with more than drunken dancing in the wedding video.  

His aversion to the Honeymoon might be monetary?  Isn’t it traditionally the groom’s family’s obligation?  I know some couples pospone theirs for a better season (fall wedding, winter ski trip) or a better time (June wedding, everything’s booked), so maybe you can still plan for a vacation, or even just a two night getway – a honemoon does not need to be days and days – it’s meant to be a treat after all the stress and planning of the wedding.

I think this might just be some wedding jitters coming out of your Fiance as the event becomes more ‘real’ and he sees how much the day will take out of you both.  But from what I can tell from my married friends, it’s worth it to share the day with your family.  

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