(Closed) FI slept with 2 hookers

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

I am so sorry too!! 🙁 You are courageous to walk away and I admire you for that. Him feeling the need to cheat on you after five years is HIS issue, not yours! It’s not that you weren’t enough – clearly he wasn’t ready for marriage. He showed you what he real values were and thank goodness he did that before he married you. Keep your head up, things only go up from here!! 🙂

Post # 47
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I said a prayer for you dear! Take care of yourself… It will get better. You will meet a man who will treat you the way that you deserve. You are not inadequate in anyway, he is just scum. He was selfishly trying to continue the relationship with you, even though he is not truly ready for a real committment. Good riddance to bad rubbish. 

Post # 48
Member
7903 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wow, you really dodged a bullet. It’s better you found out now before you got married. You totally did the right thing by ending it. Things will get better!

Post # 49
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - White Oak Plantation

You don’t owe anyone an explanation but I know it will be hard calling off the wedding. God has a bigger, better plan for you and all of this hapowned for a reason. Stay strong bee!! You can and will do so much better than him. 

Post # 50
Hostess
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You say he was the love of your life but clearly he’s not the one for you because you don’t have the same values. It’s good that you found this out now instead of years in the future. Best of luck, you can get though this. 

Post # 51
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

So very sorry. He is not worthy.I Know it won’t make you feel better, so sorry 🙁

Post # 52
Member
8573 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ruby05:  Oh but it was nothing to do with you  and not being ‘enough/good enough’  . It was about him and his actions. That he said stuff like” whatever you want to do now is ok with me ”   or whatever is a testament to his weakness . He should have had the courage to say he no longer loved you , rather  than do crap stuff like hookers and then expect  you to manage the  fallout .

It is very sad and I agree with  all the pp’s who say better now  than  later.  Cold  comfort though that is right now, it’s still true and though    I don’t  know you at all, but  it seems to me from your posts that you are well aware of  this and in time will be just fine.

Just don’t go down the road of blaming  yourself , or thinking yourself  inadequate in any way . Probably best only to share personal stuff with anonymous us or maybe one  person who you really trust, no  point in being the subject of gossip/pity/speculation etc. Telling people about the wedding being off is  of course awful , but people will just have to be satisfied with ‘well we decided to  call it a day , so……. “

Your courage in seeing a  day when it will be a story ” oh yes once I was engaged to a guy who slept with not one  but two hookers!”  shows  all of us I think , that you will be JUST FINE..

All good wishes to you .

 

Post # 53
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Ruby05:  You’re self-esteem as taken a beating but be gentle with yourself.  IMO it wasn’t a matter of you not being good enough for him.  The problem was HE’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.  The fact is he’s betrayed you and you were loyal.  Glad this happened now and not after the wedding.  I have a friend who went through a similar situation over Christmas.  She still getting over it but he’s starting to feel better.  You will feel better than you do now. 

Your ex-FI’s comment “I’II do what ever I want to you.”  Is really disturbing. It’s really abusive.  You don’t have to explain to anyone what happened.  If someone asks you say something general “I realized we weren’t right for each other or We aren’t a good partnership or It just wasn’t going to work.” etc.. Hold your head high there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You didn’t do anything wrong – he did.

Post # 54
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I’m so sorry you are going through this.  I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling at his betrayal.  I hope that you have supportive friends and family around you to help during this difficult time.

Post # 55
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

I am so very sorry.  If there is a silver lining to this it is that you got out BEFORE you got married and had kids with someone like that. No one deserves that, stay strong, get counseling, heal and go have yourself a beautiful life. 

Post # 56
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Ohh wow, I’m so sorry because that most hurt terribly. Thank goodness you know now though

Post # 57
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

Be strong girl, you’ve got the world at your feet, you’ll find your footing again. 

Post # 58
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

He’s awful and doesn’t deserve you. That makes my stomach hurt just to think about it. But I wholeheartedly agree with PPs...the fact that someone decides to sleep with hookers is NOT a reflection on their SO. It’s a reflection of their piss poor life choices and non-existent moral compass. 

You seem like a strong woman. Walk away from this with your head held high and don’t look back. 

Post # 59
Member
2572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t have anything new to add to the conversation, but I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your situation. I can’t believe how cold your ex is being about this, but I genuinely think you’re fortunate to find out now. You made the right choice in leaving. 

Post # 60
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m so sorry Bee. What an a-hole. You are definately better off without him. 

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