(Closed) FI: "Sometimes you are so stupid sometimes…."

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

Just wanted to say if my boyfriend ever told me I was stupid, even followed by “sometimes”, I wouldn’t handle it well.  Namecalling is not ok.  Why would he start crying if you were to respond by calling him an ass?  Is he overly emotional?  Sounds like maybe he should talk to someone about this….

Post # 4
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

In our house thems fightin’ words.

Post # 7
Member
9891 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ouch.  You need to tell him not to hurt you with words.  My Darling Husband would never say anything like that to me, that sucks.  Stress is no excuse for calling someone stupid. 

Unless . . . you did do something really stupid, lol . . . care to share more details?  ๐Ÿ˜‰   But that’s still no reason to call names.

And, seriously, if you called him an ass he would “get pissy and storm off or cry?”  Really??

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Beautiful Bluegrass:  Here too.

Go ahead and tell me I have bad taste or I’m fat (ok, don’t, I have a mirror) or you don’t like my cooking – that’s all subjective.  But I’m not stupid, don’t say it, don’t even treat me like it.

The most vivid memory I have of my EX-boyfriend is him telling me “God!  You’re so stupid!”  I was making dinner and had spilled something.  That was the beginning of the end.

Post # 9
Member
9891 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@brandybelle:  Posted at the same time and you answered my question. 

What you did is pretty normal, happens all the time.  No need to be called stupid over something as minor as that.  Sounds like a real mature guy you got there.  ๐Ÿ™

Post # 10
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

@brandybelle:  I still don’t think you did anything to deserve being called stupid!  I hope you know you don’t deserve that.  I could understand him saying something like “um hello, are you blind?  your shoes are right in front of you!” or something like that… but stupid?  No way.  I heard my sister’s fiance once say to her “you are so dumb sometimes!” after she had said something really ditzy (she said Balderdash was a country…she meant Bangladesh!)…He was laughing as he said it, and so was she, but i still winced a little inside.  I guess I’m just overly sensitive to name calling in relationships.  I would definitely sit him down and let him know that’s not ok!  He seems like a sensitive guy who knows what he said was wrong, so he just needs to work on thinking before he speaks, especially when stressed.

Post # 12
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@brandybelle:  hmmm. if i were you i would want him to apologize in front of everyone who heard it.

Post # 13
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes – I’m pretty sure I have chunks missing from biting my tongue ๐Ÿ˜‰

Although to be fair – he probably does too. Stuff happens.

Post # 14
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ouch! I hate name calling. Its so damaging to a relationship. Even in our worst fight my husband and I have never called each other names.

Post # 15
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It’s funny how much people here overreact. When my husband or I does something stupid, we’re not afraid to point it out. Everybody does stuff like that sometimes and it’s not a big deal. But I do understand the feeling of being at odds over every little thing. Is your Fiance under any extra pressure lately? Like work or money or family stress? If he’s been on edge, it’s probably not you, there’s probably something else going on with him.

Post # 16
Member
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Doing somthing stupid is very different from being stupid.

Name calling is disrespectful and should be  a no go in any relationship.

The topic ‘FI: "Sometimes you are so stupid sometimes…."’ is closed to new replies.

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