Post # 1
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
And sometimes, dear dear Fiance, you are an ass.
This is what I wish I said, but i didn’t. I am sure if I did, he would A) get pissy and storm off, or B) start crying.
Fiance has been having a bad week, and it means that he is taking EVERY little thing out on me. I don’t think he means it, he is so sweet, and this is just a very off time for him, for both of us in fact. So much is going on with school, and we are both getting ready to leave for conferences, we are sick, etc etc. Shit just keeps piling on, and it feels like we never get a break.
Anything that you bees have ever wanted to say to SO, but could bring yourself to do it?
Post # 3
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
Just wanted to say if my boyfriend ever told me I was stupid, even followed by “sometimes”, I wouldn’t handle it well. Namecalling is not ok. Why would he start crying if you were to respond by calling him an ass? Is he overly emotional? Sounds like maybe he should talk to someone about this….
Post # 4
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
In our house thems fightin’ words.
Post # 5
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
@Kings7911: it is because i did something pretty stupid. I was looking for my shoes, and i looked in the trunk and didn’t see them. They were in the trunk. he found them within 2 seconds of opening it. So I have to agree with him in that instance. And he would get upset because he knows he is being an ass. He knows I know too. He likes to wait until we are alone to apologize when he does stuff like that. I predict sometime tonight he will apologize for everything.
Post # 7
Member
9941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Ouch. You need to tell him not to hurt you with words. My DH would never say anything like that to me, that sucks. Stress is no excuse for calling someone stupid.
Unless . . . you did do something really stupid, lol . . . care to share more details? 😉 But that’s still no reason to call names.
And, seriously, if you called him an ass he would “get pissy and storm off or cry?” Really??
Post # 8
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
@Beautiful Bluegrass: Here too.
Go ahead and tell me I have bad taste or I’m fat (ok, don’t, I have a mirror) or you don’t like my cooking – that’s all subjective. But I’m not stupid, don’t say it, don’t even treat me like it.
The most vivid memory I have of my EX-boyfriend is him telling me “God! You’re so stupid!” I was making dinner and had spilled something. That was the beginning of the end.
Post # 9
Member
9941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
@brandybelle: Posted at the same time and you answered my question.
What you did is pretty normal, happens all the time. No need to be called stupid over something as minor as that. Sounds like a real mature guy you got there. 🙁
Post # 10
Member
1383 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
@brandybelle: I still don’t think you did anything to deserve being called stupid! I hope you know you don’t deserve that. I could understand him saying something like “um hello, are you blind? your shoes are right in front of you!” or something like that… but stupid? No way. I heard my sister’s fiance once say to her “you are so dumb sometimes!” after she had said something really ditzy (she said Balderdash was a country…she meant Bangladesh!)…He was laughing as he said it, and so was she, but i still winced a little inside. I guess I’m just overly sensitive to name calling in relationships. I would definitely sit him down and let him know that’s not ok! He seems like a sensitive guy who knows what he said was wrong, so he just needs to work on thinking before he speaks, especially when stressed.
Post # 11
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
@Sunfire: Lol I think it was pretty stupid. I laughed really hard at myself afterwards.
Post # 12
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
@brandybelle: hmmm. if i were you i would want him to apologize in front of everyone who heard it.
Post # 13
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
Yes – I’m pretty sure I have chunks missing from biting my tongue 😉
Although to be fair – he probably does too. Stuff happens.
Post # 14
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
Ouch! I hate name calling. Its so damaging to a relationship. Even in our worst fight my husband and I have never called each other names.
Post # 15
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
It’s funny how much people here overreact. When my husband or I does something stupid, we’re not afraid to point it out. Everybody does stuff like that sometimes and it’s not a big deal. But I do understand the feeling of being at odds over every little thing. Is your Fiance under any extra pressure lately? Like work or money or family stress? If he’s been on edge, it’s probably not you, there’s probably something else going on with him.
Post # 16
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Doing somthing stupid is very different from being stupid.
Name calling is disrespectful and should be a no go in any relationship.