(Closed) FI sticking up for you against your future in laws

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know that things have happened that I don’t know the details about, and I appreciate it.  I don’t feel guilty.  His mother has “I’M LOSING MY BABY!!!” syndrome, and she needs to get over it.  We’ve been dating for 8 years. 

One of my dear friends – her Mother-In-Law is a witch.  Her MIL/FIL/SIL cut ties with her when she chose to have no kids at the wedding and not to have her husband’s 1 year old niece as the flower girl.  Seriously..that’s why you cut your son off? It’s the dumbest thing ever, and still, 4 years after the wedding, they refuse to talk to their own son, they are missing out on their grandchild growing up.

In-laws!! Yell

Post # 5
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Here’s the thing – you’re not holding a gun to his head to do this.  He’s sticking up for you on his own.  If he didn’t think it would work, he wouldn’t be with you.  He loves you, and if his parents choose to not to accept that, it’s not YOUR fault, it’s not HIS fault.  They are the ones making the choice.  Do not feel guilty.

I always say you can’t help who you fall in love with.

 

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We haven’t had that issue but I strongly feel like that’s how it should be. When you get married, your SPOUSE becomes numero uno. Your parents are still important, but your priorities shift. i would never marry a man that would put his mother and father above me, his wife.

I’m sorry you feel guilty; i hope things can get better =

Post # 8
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I agree that it’s how it’s supposed to work. If his parents don’t accept you, that’s their own problem. It sounds like you’ve tried to form a relationship with them, so if they don’t adapt, meh. You’re the new family 🙂

Post # 9
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@ejs4y8 – Really? Is that how it’s supposed to be? My fiance certaintly never got that memo even though I try to explain it to him all the time.

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@FutureMrs.Taylor, it took my husband a deployment to figure it out Wink

It was something my parents hammered into my head…they told me not to get married until I felt like I could put him before them. Pretty unselfish of a parent if you ask me Smile

Post # 11
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

It sucks that his family is that way, but your Fiance is doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing. You’re going to be his family, now, too, and the family that the two of you have together is the priority.

Post # 12
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Your Fiance is doing a great job.  My Future In-Laws never liked me.  It was a constant battle with them.  I was taking their little boy to the big bad city, I was too wild, they didn’t understand me, blah blah blah.

A couple years ago, Fiance sat down with them.  He said, “HotChildintheCity is going to be my wife and the mother of my children.  You can start being nice, or you won’t be seeing too much of us.”

We’re not best buds, but things have changed A LOT since then. 

Post # 13
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

You shouldn’t feel guilty…this is on them, not you.  THEY have made this choice, not you and not your Fiance. 

Be glad your Fiance stands up for you…some aren’t so lucky.  I couldn’t marry someone who couldn’t stand up for me and put their mom first. 

Post # 14
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It would be hilarious if he really said HotChildintheCity! They really would have had a fit!

Post # 15
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@FutureMrsTaylor: YES.  That would have been perfect.  I could just picture my FMIL’s face ;op

Post # 16
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Future Mother-In-Law HATES me. and FH has told her many times the same thing that you’re lovely man has said to his.

Eventually they’ll either warm up, or move on – I too am still waiting for either of those to happen.

I just hope some of you don’t have to deal with the climax of erratic behavior before the warm up for move on ending like i have… it sucks! I’m talking, buying a dress the same color as my wedding dress, inviting her child to be a bridesmaid without my consent, telling him not marry me in public, taking money from his old account (that was joint with her name since he was 14, hes a man who never changes his ways, but has since then learned his lesson!)…..

I don’t know why after all these things why HE still talks to her, but that’s his choice, as long as I always come first as his wife and family.

The topic ‘FI sticking up for you against your future in laws’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors