(Closed) FI STILL hasn't gotten a review – how do I support him?

posted 11 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If I was him, I would at least apply. Right now, it’s not a job opportunity, it’s a job posting, even if he knows the people working there. He still has to go through the interview process, determine the pay, whether he even likes it there… so many steps before accepting. And for all you know, the boss may want to, I dunno, hire his nephew so it’s not even a sure thing for your husband right now. Plus, even if he does get the offer, a job offer is not a summons. He can chose not to accept it. 

But overall,  yeah, if he got offered the job, I’d take it. The company he’s at now has shown who they really are. Cut his losses and leave.

Post # 3
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He should just apply, get the interview and an offer first.  Just because they offer him a position does not mean he has to take it.  He should take this opportunity to:

1) Gain some negotiating power with his current company. If they value him then they will try offering incentives for him to stay.  But as of now they are focusing on other people and putting him on the backburner.  There’s no urgency to give him a raise if they aren’t worry that he’ll leave.

2) He can get a feel for the other company.  Just because your best friend husband enjoys the company does not mean it will be the same for your fiancé.  Everything sounds great on paper but the environment may be something not he would like.

Post # 4
4691 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Go go go. Tell him to go and apply to the new place ASAP.  6 years is enough time to have dedicated to a company, they’re taking him for granted now, he’s outgrown it, time to move on to bigger and better things. Good luck!

Post # 5
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

So what happens if he does get this $12k? Wait 3 more years for a raise in a mediocre position? Doesn’t seem worth it to me. 

Apply for the new job while still fighting for that review/raise. Take it as high in the company as possible. Heck, just maybe it would come through right before he’d get the new job and he could make off like a bandit to the new job with higher pay…

Post # 6
2243 posts
Buzzing bee

misstomorris :  raises are optional, and when you don’t give annual raises, as a company, you should know that you’re risking losing loyal talent (like your fi) to companies that DO abide by employees’ expectations to be rewarded financially for their hard work.


it’d be absolutely foolish on his behalf to not apply elsewhere at this point. In the grand scheme of things (stress, base pay, etc.) a one time *potential* payout of ~$12k is NOTHING. And he may not even get that, so don’t look at it as him being owed anything…again, annual bonuses are not a requirement. Especially if it’s a small company with no corporate operating policies.


ETA: them saying “so and so has been waiting longer than you” is a clear indicator that they do not value his service. if he gets an offer elsewhere and they try to keep him by promising a higher salary—tell him to remember this: if they could afford to pay him more all this time, why did they just offer to pay more now that they fear losing him? that is blatantly disrespectful.

Post # 7
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Apply and go through the interview at the very least.  I would totally say forget the backpay and take the new job.  Less stress is always going to be the winning option for me.  Stress kills!

Post # 8
2570 posts
Sugar bee

This company hs been dicking him around for 3 years….I honestly think it might be a few more until he ever sees that money (if he ever sees it).

He should go for the new job and hopefully he gets it!

Post # 9
4 posts
  • Wedding: June 2020

I think your boyfriend should go for this new position. He could always explain his position and ask for a signing bonus to make up for what is lost. Also, I’m not a lawyer, but couldn’t your current company be sued for back-pay if they never pay him? I do understand a lot of people wouldn’t want to bother with taking the company to court but I’m sure if your fiancé was ready to leave and it is true that he could sue for back-pay, he could just tell them this and they may not want to bother and pay up. That is risky though. 

Post # 10
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

He should absolutely apply for the new position. See if he likes the company and the people he would be working with. If it is a good opportunity and he gets a good offer, he can make a decision then. There are a couple of options with a new offer. He can take it or he can use it as leverage to get his back pay and the promotions he is due. 

I also know that the back pay is very enticing, as it would be a large amount of cash. But, if the offer at the new company is more per year than the back pay he would get as well as being higher than his updated salary (it is almost always more lucrative to go to another company than get promoted within your own) it would make more sense to take the new offer. If the new offer isn’t that much higher, he can mention to the hiring manager and to HR about the bonus he would be receiving to stay at his current company, and see if they can give him a signing bonus or negotiate a higher bonus %  or starting salary. 

Either way, he absolutely needs to apply for this and any new position that comes up. If the company doesn’t value him, then he needs to go somewhere else where he is fairly compensated. 

Post # 12
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I would entertain other options at this point.   Your husband might even be able to negotiate for 12K as a signing bonus.

Post # 13
2243 posts
Buzzing bee

misstomorris :  I understand that it would help you immensely in the short-term, but that money is not promised. Technically, there is no standing for him to even receive 3 years worth of retroactive payment because no evaluation has even been held. There’s not even been anything to calculate a salary increase upon—so $12k is an even more unfounded estimate than assuming he’s owed an additional $1/hr. 


If he’s got professional certifications, work experience, and good references (obviously he does if his friend sent him a posting at his company), then he needs to leave. Also, the quickest way to enhance your earning potential is to seek employment at a new company. That way, he’d have negotiating power and a real opportunity to increase his base salary—by way more than $1/hr, I assure you. He may even get a sign-on bonus somewhere else that could potentially wipe out his debt. I promise you’ve likely got a better shot at that than collecting his well-overdue merit increase at his current job.


Also, the company likely knows that if they use an effective date 3 years in the past (which is absurd to even think of), that they’d owe him a shit ton of back pay. So what’s to prevent them from holding the review next week and effective dating it for a more immediate date, and just overlooking the past 3 years? Or saying that they couldn’t afford to give salary increases for the past 3 years (again, performance increases are optional) and just starting his new salary now? Is $1/hr (ASSUMED) worth it??? After all the blatant disrespect, disregard, and excuses?


All this information, combined with the fact that he’s not being valued at his current place of employment, is reason enough to seek employment elsewhere. Tell him to not even stop with the application his friend sent him—he needs to be putting some real elbow grease into looking for a new job. Good luck to both of you!!

Post # 14
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012


The back pay may be “guaranteed “, but so is his review, and look how they’ve treated that.

Post # 15
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Apply to the new job for sure! It’s worth it just to interview. If he gets the job he doesn’t have to take it – but then he’ll have the option to decide what to do based on the salary being offered. 

There’s 4 months until your Fiance asks management about this again. If they say no then, it’s probably 10 months that he may be waiting for that raise. Taking a new job now with higher salary and making more over the next 4-10 months may be an equal or higher benefit than a backpay package. 

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