Post # 1
How would you feel about your FI/DH taking a trip just a week after your wedding?
My Fiance goes fishing with a group of guy friends once a year. They talk about it and look forward to it all year. He LOVES to fish and its the only time when he can.
We’re getting married on July 7th and our plan was to travel to the United States on July 9th and spend a month there. He was going to have to miss the fishing trip because its mid-July. I know he was disappointed but he didn’t say a word to me.
Well now we’ve had a change of plans. We won’t be travelling to the United States until the very end of July, so we have about 3 weeks in between wedding and travel. I’ll have to work during that time and we don’t have any other plans.
So he’s going on the fishing trip. He’ll leave exactly a week after the wedding and be gone for a week. There is no cell phone service or anything where they camp, so it’ll be a week with absolutely no communication.
How would you feel about this? I haven’t really said anything except to tell him which dates I thought would work best for their trip. I’ve been acting supportive. But there’s a part of me thinking… by the time he gets back we’ll have spent HALF of our marriage apart! Obviously when you’ve only been married for two weeks, half isn’t a ton of time, but still.
I’m so torn. I know how much he loves to go and that if he misses it he’ll have to wait another year. So I WANT him to go. But I’m sad 🙁 I don’t want to spend the second week of my marriage all alone without even being able to text or call once. I feel like the ‘honeymoon period’ will come to an abrupt halt once he leaves!
How would you feel? Any ideas for how I can feel less sad about it? I thought about taking a trip of my own or having people visit or something, but I can’t miss work. My vacation time is being used up before the wedding and when we travel to the States.
Post # 3
I’d be bummed. But I’d want him to go too else I’d feel bad. Lose-lose situation? Hugs for you.
Post # 4
Honestly..I wouldn’t mind if he went
Post # 5
I think you should let him go, and try to think of it from a happier perspective. You two will be married, which is forever! You have your WHOLE lives to do things together, so one week post wedding is like a drop in the bucket, in the grand scheme of things. You will still get to have your long trip together, and many, many, many days and nights to come. If he loves the fishing trip, and looks forward to it every year, I would send him off with a smile and know that he’s your husband now, and will be there forever 🙂
Post # 6
Okay, I’m kind of glad you all think he should go. I was afraid people might say “no way I’d let my Darling Husband go!”.
I definitely do WANT him to go. I guess I just feel sad for myself! Especially since almost all of our family is from out of town and will be leaving around then too (after the wedding). His family will be going to another city and my family will be going back to the States.
I guess I should try to plan some fun stuff for myself for when he’s gone. I’m a HUGE reader. Maybe I’ll tell him he can’t go until he buys me enough books to last me through the week
Post # 7
Hmmm, so let me get this right…
Wedding and then back to work. No mini-moon? Honeymoon later on.
And immediately after back to work, Hubby is off on a fishing trip with “the guys” and there is no way to communicate with him.
Did I get it all ?
If that is the case, YUP I’d be P-Oed
In the very least I figure you deserve a Mini Moon in there somewhere… say 3 or 4 Days post wedding just the two of you.
Lol, enough romance to carry you thru the time he’s away on the Fishing Trip.
PS… My first wedding, Hubby and I came back from our Honeymoon, and he immediately had to go away for a week on a business trip. It sucked, but I managed thru it. Mind you we were on the phone with each other each and every night (days before texts & cell phones). I had lots of nice Honeymoon memories to keep me comfy… and found the week he was away a good chance to write Thank You Notes, catch up with GFs, organize gifts we got, do some decorating of our new apartment etc. By the time he got back we were both very HUNGRY if you know what I mean !!
Post # 8
@ana77: Maybe you can start on thank you notes while he is away? Post wedding spa day possibly??
Post # 9
I definitely would not worry about it. I would send him off with a big smile and hug, no guilt trips, and tell him to have a good time.
Then you can enjoy the down time and get some post-wedding, post-honeymoon R&R — maybe book an appointment for a spa day?
Buy a bottle of champagne and some cute lingerie so you can celebrate your reunion when he comes home from the trip.
Post # 10
I wouldnt be happy about it, but I would be supportive which it sounds like you’re doing 🙂
I would look at it from this perspective–you get to spend a week together with the new excitement of being married, he will go away, and when he comes back it will all still be so new and exciting 🙂
Post # 11
I would definitely not be happy. But I don’t think my Fiance would do that a week after the wedding as he’d also feel like it was wrong. Did your fiancé discuss it with you? Did he feel bad that you would feel sad without him? Anyways, yea that wouldn’t work for me.
Post # 12
@This Time Round: A “mini-moon” is a good idea! I could probably convince my boss to give me a day off work so we could go somewhere for at least a little overnight trip. That’d be nice and make me feel a little bit better about his leaving! Thanks for the idea.
Post # 13
I can understand why you’d be a little bummed, but like PPs have said, it’s just a week and you’ll be married for the rest of your lives!
I’m in a kind of similar situation, where I’ve been offered a work trip to Korea like three days after our honeymoon. Fiance says he’ll miss me but is being really supportive, which makes me really happy. So maybe think of this as a way you can help make him happy instead of something that will make you sad, if that makes sense?
Post # 14
@ilybride52513: Same here, I wouldnt mind either. Its not like he is going to Vegas with the boys, He is going fishing. You can take that week and relax yourself. Soon after, you will have your honeymoon and you will have him all to yourself. 🙂
Post # 15
It’s a tradition… Try not to let it bother you.
Post # 16
@RhubarbPie: Yeah, he did talk to me about it. In fact I was the one who pointed out that it would now be possible for him to go. I wasn’t necessarily saying “GO!”, but I did bring it up.
I have something to confess to all you brides… I don’t have to write a single thank-you note! :O I saw some people suggesting I start working on that when he’s gone. Where we live in South American people don’t put their names on gifts, so thank-you notes would be impossible. Poor me, right? 😉