(Closed) FI telling fam/friends don't have to go to DW

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@flowerring:  Aww..sorry to hear you are felling this way. I know how hard it is to plan a destination wedding with all the flack you get from people who dont like the idea. Maybe your fiance just wants the small aspect for the wedding really badly so he is just trying to tell people they dont have to come so things remain smaller. We had to decline inviting alot of people to our wedding because we wanted a smaller wedding.

Post # 4
20 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

@flowerring:  First of all, I’m really sorry that you’re having to deal with this. Planning a Destination Wedding is VERY hard work and it can get frustrating at times. I myself just had a meltdown last nightover our Destination Wedding. We have yet to get any negative feedback from friends or family (they know better than to say anything in front of me).

I went through a similar thing with my Fiance when we first got engaged. To me, he didn’t seem very excited at all about wedding details. I soon learned that he was getting busier at work, and he was just stressing about it. Once we talked it out, I could see a change in him, and every thing was fine. 

I would talk to your Fiance about how you feel. From what I’ve read, his behavior (IMO) is completely unacceptable. If he doesn’t want a friend to come to the wedding, don’t tell said friend about it!! That makes absolutely no sense!!

Post # 5
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d make a time for the two of you to just sit and talk and catch up. Maybe not about the wedding at first, but go for a walk or an afternoon at the park. Somewhere where you can spend some quality time not being interrupted. 

Then tell him how you feel, without putting any blame on him straight away. Just express that while you know his intentions haven’t been to hurt you when he does x,y,z, it makes you feel like he doesn’t care and it also hurts your feelings. Say you really want to meet him half way and that it is REALLY important he doesn’t just shrug it off and check out. Stress that this is one of thoe moments when you really need his full attention and effort. Then maybe he’ll be up for brainstorming ideas. Anything goes, you just need to get him talking. 

Who knows, maybe he’ll say he is sad he can’t get his favorite beer there, and you find a way and suddenly he’ll stop being so sulky! It could be something as simple and silly as that and hes just not communicating his feelings to himself or you!

Post # 6
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@HappinessIsInDaisies:  +1 -I think checking out of the wedding and a familiar scene is a great idea, if only for a few mins. You may need to reconnect on a relationship/loving level and then broach the wedding topic. I also think it was great to not put the blame on him but definitely express your thoughts and feelings. He wont know if you dont tell him and vice versa. Its funny cause I was in a similar situation but reverse. Wedding here was getting totally out on control so we decided to get married in Rio next May. Best decision I made thus far with the exception of marrying her!

Good luck and best wishes.

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