Post # 1
You can pretty much get the idea of what this topic is about just by reading the title. I have been considering not inviting children to the wedding because Future Mother-In-Law is a registered sex offender. I have not brought this to his side of the family’s attention yet because I do not know how to approach this situation to them without causing some angry and hurt feelings. However, I am starting to prepare my side of the family for this news. I let my Future Sister-In-Law (my brother’s FI) know that if she wants to still bring her children she can but just keep a close eye on them. I prefer her not to bring them at all but having 3 kids, it does get hard to find a babysitter and I cant afford to provide one for her during the wedding. Well, yesterday Fiance and his sister went out to eat. He tells her that I said we weren’t going to have children at the wedding. I dont think she was upset by it but I didnt actually hear her say this: “So I cant bring my kids to the wedding?” I love and adore her (shes one of my BMs) and very much love and adore her children even more. I usually can talk to her about things but this is a highly sensitive issue and she JUST lost the father of her oldest child last wkend so that’s even more of an emotional toll for her. I asked Fiance why did he tell her that? All this information about our wedding is starting to get family members confused because of him. Are any of you ladies going thru this with FIs?
Post # 3
I don’t think he meant any harm. His sister is probably already aware of the sex offender thing. Tell him not to say anything until the plans are set in stone. You don’t see to many female sex offenders.
Post # 4
Your FI’s mother is a registered sex offender? oh boy, that’s rough. I don’t think she can legally be around children
Post # 5
My husband was the exact opposite, that he didn’t share details so it seems like there is no plan in place. It drives me nuts. It seems like you have a pretty good relationship with your SIL so I would just let her know what you are thinking.
OT:Did she end up already knowing the truth about your FMIL?
ETA:I think posters might want to read OP’s previous posts about the sex offender situation, it makes this post easier to understand.
Post # 6
Since she’s a registered offender, if there are children at the wedding, is she even legally allowed to be there?
Post # 7
First of all hugs because this must be a very traumatic and emotional time. Second – it would be easier to explain “no children” than no “FMIL” at the wedding so I would tend to go that route BUT if you do have any children coming please make sure you let their parents know that there is a registered offender (you do not have to tell them who it is) just that it is family and that they are bringing children into a situation that will have risk and if they bring them they need to be prepared to keep an eye on them at all times.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this
Post # 8
I’m so sorry.I did not go through this, but did know someone close to me who did…
Yes, I feel that you should say no children. I would say that you align yourself to the story that it is for the enjoyment of the adults. If they continue to ask questions, such as in the case of your dear SIL, then unfortunately, I would hope that you do tell your guests that have children that there is a strict no children rule, and that it is for their safety as a registered sex offender is nearby, and that legally that is why you are obligated to not allow children. We did not say it was a guest, we just explained that it was “someone” nearby who had access to the event and that was enough for parents to keep their kids home.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
Not to make light of the situation but I didn’t even realize that females could be registered sex offenders (stupid assumption on my part).
I wouldn’t invite kids personally and explain it to people you feel close enough to share it with.
Post # 10
I think its considerate of you 1. On behalf of the children and their safety and 2. On behalf of your fmil’s legal issues. I mean its for her own good legally… why don’t you explain it like that.
Post # 11
You don’t have to tell us, but does it depends on the type of sex offender? I think you can be registered as an offender when it doesn’t have to do with kids.
Just tell FH not to tell any details of the wedding, until you can think of a sensitive and appropriate way to do it. It would be hard to tell people why they can’t bring kids and then all they can think about is your FMIL’s history (lots of gossip and whispers) instead of the focus being on you.
Post # 12
No, she is a child molestor. She molested an 8 yr old girl when she had 3 children of her own at the time. I dont even want her around my kids or my house. I do not know how to “link” a previous post I did to one Im doing now, Im not that good and Im still a bit new (a bit!). But I did not think about that, the whispering and gossip during the wedding part. I do not want the focus on her. If she wasnt his mother, she wouldnt be there. I wish it could have ben ANY other relative because they would have EASILY not been invited.
Post # 13
Post # 14
The hard part about this is Fiance and his sister didnt even know the TRUTH. They know she was a registered sex offender but what she told them was she found out a boyfriend of hers had done something with a child and didnt report it. She is a huge, constant liar. She lied to them about the last time she was in jail. She lies to them every time. I just want her lies to catch up to her. She blames what she did on everyone else EXCEPT the person who was actually responsible: HERSELF. That’s why I dont like to be around her.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
My suggestion is NO children invited. I realize that will be a challenge for family members with children, but that seems the best way, safest way all around.