Post # 17
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
I want to start off by saying I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I can’t begin to imagine the heartache this is causing all of you.
I’m opposed to the idea of the mother being able to attend at all. I understand she “served her time” and what not and she is his mother. However, you can say no kids to your other guests, but what about your own? They are obviously going to attend if not be part of your wedding. If I were in your shoes, I would be frantic all day keeping my eyes on them, instead of focusing on yourself and the commitement you are making to your Fiance.
When you say your vows, I want you to have peace of mind your children are safe and savor those irreplacable moments with your Fiance, not staring at them out of the corner of your eye to reassure yourself they’re safe.
Post # 18
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
For the record, I did just meet her last March. I didnt judge her, I respected her. I knew how important it was for Fiance that his mom and I to get along. However, time after time I continuously kept being nice to her and my kindness was taken as weakness time after time. When she busted a window out this woman’s home when her husband was inside with the other woman, I took her in when she had nowhere to stay. How does she repay me? By running up my bills. She kept changing the thermostat SEVERAL times after I told her NOT to. I feel like I should only have to tell an adult something once. She would make 411 calls that ran our phone bill up $400. At this time, I had JUST had my baby girl and I wasnt working and Fiance was the only income we were receiving. He not only helps and supports her, he has to help and support his sister who is a single mother of 3 kids (the one that I can talk to). At this time she did this, she did have a job but she ALWAYS said she didnt have any money. Well, thats because she’s busy saving her money for her own selfish purposes. I just wanted her out of my house asap!!! She always yelled at my oldest daughter like she was bad. That bothered both me and Fiance. My oldest daughter may not be her biological granddaughter, but Fiance has been around her since she was 1 and her real father is not in the picture. Fiance treats her no different than his biological children and she shouldnt either. I just have a bundle of emotion balled up because of her. I was brought up properly to respect my elders. My mother knows everything. She says just be nice, just be nice, thats your Future Mother-In-Law. Im so ready to just scream. Its so stressful, I start getting negative thoughts in my head like had I known Fiance had a mother like this, would I have even bothered dating him?? I dont want to think like that. Fiance is my world, I just dont want his mother in it. Im so sorry ladies for the long vent. You guys are the only ones I Really have to talk to about this. Thank you bees so much for being there for me, you dont know how much you are appreciated.
Post # 19
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
@SweetVanity: They are in the wedding but they are going to be with my parents. My parents keep my kids all the time so the kids stick around them. My mother knows the situation because she was the one who told me the TRUTH. Her co-workers told her and she pulled it up and found it. I was in such shock and disbelief that it took me about 3 or 4 days for me to actually pull it up to see for myself. I had to tell Fiance about this on his birthday. Thats the last thing anyone wants to hear on their birthday. The perfect moment had just popped up to tell him and I did.
Post # 20
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
@rebwana: I think this is for the best too. It really pains me that my nieces and nephews will not be able to attend but its for their benefit. I would never be able to live with myself if anything at all happened to any of them.
Post # 21
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
Hey Bees!!! Quick question regarding this: I’ve heard it improper to put adults only on an invitation but I found this article saying where you can put on the invitation Adult reception. Is this proper?? Here’s the link:
http://www.frugalbride.com/dosanddonts.html
If this is improper, Im going to go with the other options they’ve listed on there.
Post # 22
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
Maybe your Future Mother-In-Law can be a part of the ceremony and not the reception. It would be easier to keep a close eye on children when everyone is seated anyway. I’d really hate to have a children-free wedding, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to have your Future Mother-In-Law around them.
Post # 23
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
so your Future Sister-In-Law still doesn’t know the whole story? maybe it might be time to have your Fiance break it to her….