Post # 1
No, he hasn’t seen my actual dress.
We live in Taiwan, and I’m not sure if you all know, but engagement photos in Asia are like a really elaborate thing where you wear a wedding dress and several evening gowns for the photoshoot (many brides here rent their wedding dresses for the actual wedding, but I didn’t). We’re getting our engagement photos taken in 2 months, and yesterday was our consultation to pick out the 3 dresses we want to use for the shoot.
As we were walking around the showroom looking at all the white dress options, he touched one with a lacy illusion neckline and kind of started laughing and said “Definitely not this one. It’s so cheesy!” I bought my wedding dress several months ago, and it has a lacy illusion neckline. :/ Of course he hasn’t seen my wedding dress (though he knows I purchased one already). I didn’t know what to say at all so I just didn’t say anything at the moment, because I didn’t want to ruin the consultation for the photos (I knew I’d start crying if I started talking about it). This is the dress I bought:
For the photoshoot we ended up picking a not-so-poofy ballgown with a strapless sweetheart neckline. It looks kind of like this, with a deeper sweetheart neckline:
I feel like the two dresses are polar opposites and he’s going to hate the actual dress I got. After we got home I kind of told him that I was worried about him thinking my dress was cheesy. Of course he said “you’ll look beautiful don’t worry” but all I can think about is him laughing at the dress at the shop.
I only spent $350 on the dress I bought (sample sale), which was way under my budget. So now I’m wondering if I should just get another dress that’s more a style that I think he might like. I like the dress we picked out for the photoshoot so maybe I should get something more similar to that.
I don’t know what I’m posting for, I don’t know if I want advice or just to vent my frustration. I feel freaked out and kind of heartbroken. Any comments welcome. Thanks for listening.
Post # 2
It’s beautiful! I wouldn’t worry too much- dresses look very different on the hanger.
Post # 3
If the neckline is the only thing you are worried about you could always make it strapless…it would be gorgeous either way I think
Post # 4
The dress you picked is beautiful! Even though he said he didn’t like that style, he will love seeing you, his beautiful bride, in it in real life on your wedding day. Most dudes don’t know that much about women’s fashion. The person wearing the dress matters more than the dress itself. Don’t change it!
Post # 5
Men know nothing about clothes, especially wedding dresses!! Honestly, please don’t let it worry you. There have been many stories on here about women who buy dresses based on what their Fiance says he likes, only to have him point out completely different dresses saying “see isn’t that nice”. They just don’t get it, and they certainly don’t get how dresses look on the hanger compared to when you are actually wearing them!
** Yes I know this is a generalisation and that some men do actually understand women’s clothing.
Post # 6
I’m from Taiwan and know about the pics you are talking about. I wouldn’t worry about it cause the dresses they use for those pictures are usually over the top with sparkles and lace. Yours looks fine.
Post # 7
Your dress is definitely not cheesey, and you should be so proud of finding that great deal! He’s going to be mesmerized by you and won’t even put it together that it’s a similar style to the one he saw at the showroom. I’ve seen other posts like this where the groom saw a photo or a real-life dress and said “oh, hope yours isn’t like that!” and it was, yet all he saw when his bride was wearing the same dress was HIS gorgeous bride in HER beautiful gown. Please don’t give it another thought.
Post # 8
Honey, your first dress is gorgeous! If he said he’d like it, then he will. Your second dress is pretty as well. Don’t buy another dress. His jaw will drop on the day of the wedding when he sees you 🙂
Post # 9
Dresses always look different on than they do on the hanger. He’ll be too busy oogling over how hot you look to even notice the neckline. Chances are he wont even be able to pick out the same neckline next week. The dress is beautiful and I’m sure you’ll look fantastic. Most men don’t even notice the dress; they just notice your glowing face.
^I enjoyed reading this!
Post # 10
Before you do anything, read this thread and the comments…
wants to punch fi in the face
Post # 11
Thanks for the comments, ladies. It’s kind of hard to let go of that nagging thought though! I’m sitting at work looking at “different wedding dresses” and I guess I’m gonna keep doing that, but I don’t know if I’ll get that feeling I got when I saw the one I bought.
Thanks for those links, haha. They actually definitely helped make me feel better!
Post # 12
Your dress is elegant and gorgeous! Things look very different on the hanger versus on a body! (Especially when it’s the body of your one true love!)
Post # 13
as a fellow (recent) bride in asia, i know the kind of dresses you mean! but lots of dresses here tend to be way over the top and crazy. that’s probably what he meant, not the neckline specifically. don’t worry about it!
Post # 14
I’m also living in Taiwan (hi!) and agree with the rest. The dresses here are definitely over the top, and on the day of, he will just be excited about marrying you. As long as you love the dress and feel beautiful and confident in it, he will love it too!
Post # 15
Open mouth insert foot! Men have no clue about dresses. Ignore the dork, and wear your dress! It’s a gorgeous dress and you’ll look amazing in it.