(Closed) FI vs Friends

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1108 posts
Bumble bee

He is at least cordial with the few friends I have, I don’t know that he dislikes any of them.  

I’m glad that he gets along with the people I think are important.  I think it’d be pretty hurtful if he didn’t like any of my friends, especially since friends are people you choose to be around, and are almost like a reflection of something about yourself (if that makes any sense). So in a way, speaking negatively about your friends could also be speaking negatively of you.  I’m not attempting at all to stir up anything, btw.

If it happened that BF and my friends didn’t get along, I’d probably just not invite him along to hang out.  Now if those friends bashed BF while we were alone (and not constructive “we think he is mistreating you because of x, y, z), then they’d be quick to the not-friends basket.  

Post # 4
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

he gets along with my friends fine… but he has some friends i’m not too fond of. i don’t tell him that i don’t like them, but if they do something to bother me i’ll tell him that. he’s been friends with these people forever and i wouldn’t want to get in the way of that. as long as i’m always first in his life, that’s what matters to me.

Post # 5
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

My Fiance sounds a lot like yours. He doesn’t drink at all and is really not into partying. A subset of my friends (basically my college friends) are still VERY much stuck in the drinking/partying/kegger lifestyle. He thinks its obnoxious and immature. The solution is that he just doesn’t go with me when I hang out with them. Its better that way because I don’t have to worry about him being annoyed and I don’t have to worry about them thinking he’s a stick in the mud. 

I guess I could be annoyed… but honestly I agree with him. I’m sooooooooooooooooooooo over their lifestyle. And I find it pretty immature too. But they’re my friends, ya know? I feel like I need to hang in and wait it out because eventually (I hope) they’ll grow up a bit and start leading more adult lives. 

Post # 6
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fiance isn’t a big fan of some of my friends. He notices small things about them (such as how they always complain about their food at restaurants) or big things (like their strong political opinions, which are different from his) and brings up these “flaws” pretty frequently when I’m talking to him about them. On the other hand, he gets along with them pretty well in person, and I don’t think my friends notice anything amiss. He’s critical of his own friends too and I don’t think they know.

I just got upset when he had deleted one of my best friends from his Facebook because he so strongly disagreed with some of her political status updates and I had told him not to stir up trouble. I hope she doesn’t notice they’re no longer facebook friends and that she doesn’t ask me about it, because I don’t know what I’d say!

Post # 7
990 posts
Busy bee

my Fiance is always pretty good with my friends, we share a lot of friends. but he does sometimes dislike one or the other person and tells me about it afterward but doesnt let it show in their presence.

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