Post # 1
I want a motorcycle too! Really! But there are so many other things we have to get before we can think about getting a bike.
1. We’re planning a wedding. Is it really appropriate to ask my parents for help with the wedding if we’re going around spending money on things we don’t need like motorcycles? ‘Oh mom, I can’t pay for the catering for the reception…oh btw on a completely unrelated note, have you seen FI’s new bike we just got him?’
2. He’s getting a new car this year. We leased for him and really liked it so we’re going to lease a new vehicle for him again in May when his current lease is up. So he’s getting a new car. I’m still driving around the Toyota I’ve had for 10 years that has rust growing on the rear bumper and is falling apart. He thinks it’s ok because I only drive it back and forth to work, so what’s the point in us having two new cars if it doesn’t go very far? really?! So he gets a new car and a bike and I have to drive around my POS Matrix?!
3. I want to pay bills off this year, not tack more on!! We have credit cards to pay, I have a washer and dryer to pay off and we have a dentist bill to pay. Before I start adding things back, I want to pay stuff off! I don’t want us going into planning a wedding with debt over our heads. He thinks that just because he got a raise that suddenly we can get him a new car and a bike.
I’ve told him all of this every time he brings up wanting a bike and every time we end up getting pissed off at each other. Every time he brings it up he says ‘I want a bike’ and then tries to justify it like ‘it’ll save gas money’ and ‘it’s only $100 a month’. What about insurance? What about the training to get his license? What about all the accessories he’s going to want?!
And on top of all of that, I was hoping that I could figure out a way to get it for him for his bridal present!! I wanted it to be a surprise!!! But now he won’t shut up about it!!! GAAAAHHH!!!
Post # 2
Yikes! I’d tell him that first you have to pay off the current debt then SAVE up for the motorcycle before you get one – and come up with a plan on putting money aside for a new car for you.
i love my harley but I’d never go into debt for a toy (or anything really)!
Post # 3
It’s just so frustrating. I’m always very conservative with my money. I want to save all the time. I want to make sure we have enough to cover 3 months bills if anything happens. He thinks that it’s just money so we should spend it! I’m not saying either of us is right, it’s just hard to be on opposite ends of this. He never goes and spends more money than we can afford. He always talks with me about it first, but he thinks i’m too cheap and I think money burns holes in his pockets.
Post # 4
You two obviously have different financial styles and this is causing the argument. You guys need to sit down and figure out a compromise to live within or this is going to cause problems down the road. Finances are a major cause of divorce, imo, you two need to acknowledge that you have different styles and find the solution now before saying the I do’s.
Post # 5
When I first read your title I was like, “so?”. I was worried you were one of those women who was like OMG it’s so dangerous, noooOO! Then I read your post and I agree, the financial aspect definitely needs to be discussed and worked out before this happens.
Post # 6
I’d put that wedding on hold until you can come up with a list of priorities and a budget you both agree on. Maybe that (eventually) includes a motorcycle, and maybe it doesn’t.
I think finances are one of those dealbreakers (like kids and religion) you absolutely have to agree on. Problems don’t go away after marriage, I think they just get worse! Imagine trying to save for a house or kids’ college fund or retirement and him wanting a new truck or big screen tv. It’d be a huge source of resenement and unhappiness, for both sides.
Post # 7
Usually this isn’t a problem but he’s been on this motorcycle kick for a year now and I just can’t shake it off him. I think there are other things we should be focusing on than toys we don’t need and he just wants to have fun.
And no lol I’m not one of those women. I like riding. It’s fun. But not when we’re trying to plan a wedding.
Post # 8
ITA with TKS on finding a style you both agree on when it comes to spending. It can be a huge issue in marriages, especially when one person digs their heels in and really, really wants something.
Also, I am really put off by men who drive brand new cars with their SO’s drive around rusty clunkers. It’s probably just me, but it seems very selfish and “representative” of the relationship.
Post # 9
You said you were hoping to get one for him as a wedding present. Were you going to save up for it or finance it? Whatever the case may be, maybe you could plan on taking care of the bill for him as a pre-wedding present? It wouldn’t be a surprise but maybe you could avoid World War 3 that way?
Post # 10
acglandorf: He never goes and spends more money than we can afford.
If you have credit cards to pay off, washer dryer and other bills to pay, I’m going to beg to differ and say that he/you guys DO spend more than you can afford. Leasing is a great option for those who just HAVE to have the newest car, but leasing has a pretty small mileage restriction too doesnt it? So it can’t really go that far either, yet he gets to have a new car again and somehow justifies you driving your 10 yr old car? Sounds pretty selffish. And really, leases are a pretty big waste of money imo, just eternally car payments. All this would not fly with me.
Post # 11
I’m sorry but if I were you I would be getting a new car before he got a new toy. He has a brand new car and getting you a safe more reliable car doesn’t seem to be a priority for him , that wouldn’t work for me.
Also if you have CC bills to pay there shouldn’t be anything that’s not absolutly necessary till those are paid.
Post # 12
Yea, but the car he was driving before the new one was 20 years old and held together with duct tape lol. There was a reason for it and it was thought out.
I sold cars for about 2 years, and leasing is the best option for anyone in my opinion. Unless you’re like me and keep your car for 10 years, leasing is fine for everyone. It gets a bad rap, but once you look into it it’s good for everyone. The payments are half what it would be to purchase and you’re only paying for the time you use it. And you can get different miles on it.
I really hadn’t thought about it yet tbh.
Thanks for all of your advise. I really hope we can get past this. We usually agree on money and we work it out, but it’s like this one thing just keeps coming back. I feel a little better now that I vented though. Thanks 🙂
Post # 13
I really just want to get all the CC’s paid off before they start gaining interest. We got some stuff at 0% for 24 months (I never pay interest on anything!) So I want those paid off before we get anything else. And I know you can’t get a bike for 0%
Post # 14
maybe rather than saying no because bills etc you should work out a time line with him for when he can get one so that he knows when it’ll happen and can look forward to it rather than keep bringing it up.
Post # 15
If you have a lot of debt, are paying for a wedding (asking for assistance taboot) and multi-thousand dollar toy is a bad call.