Post # 1
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
I’ve told my fiance from the very beginning that I didn’t want to play host the week of our wedding because it’s just going to be so busy with last minute things to do for the wedding and honeymoon. Well somehow he forgot this conversation because now he wants his mom to stay with us the week of the wedding. We really don’t have the room either. Our spare room is full of wedding stuff and I’m sure it will be right up until the wedding day and we only have 1 full bathroom. I know I’m going to be running around that week so I won’t have much time and energy to invest into spending time with her and I’m going to feel obligated to cook, clean ect. I just don’t need that added stress. He doesn’t understand why I would make them stay at the hotel when we have a spare room and seems upset by it. Am I being unreasonable by not wanting anyone to stay with us the week of our wedding?
Post # 3
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
@Beachy0404: tell fi he’s crazy!!
Post # 4
Member
10456 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I totally would feel the same way! It sucks because it’s his mom, but you don’t want to be stressed and busy hosting either.
Post # 5
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Maybe talk to her yourself and just let her know your concerns? I would say something like it’s going to be so hard for you to keep your head straight, nevermind trying to be a good hostess that you want her to have a fun time away from the bridezilla but that you’ll definitely schedule in family time with her.
Post # 6
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
@Beachy0404: I’d feel the exact same way you do. You don’t need the added pressure, they can stay elsewhere!
Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
@Beachy0404: Not unreasonable at all- you have plenty of other things to worry about. Tell FI no.
Post # 8
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
We literally live 1 mile from our venue, and even I am getting a hotel room for the weekend! I told FI that no one is staying at our house, I am not in charge of entertaining, and that there are no compromises on this.
After some hesitation, he finally agreed and everyone has been farely understanding
Post # 9
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
@Beachy0404: I think you’re being unreasonable. It’s his mom, I’d never expect my mom to go stay in a hotel than with us, I would show my fiance’s mom the same respect.
Also, being that it’s the week of your wedding, I’m sure no one will expect you to play host, and they will understand when you don’t. She will know you are busy and I’m sure will not expect you to cook for her or any of that. She might end up being helpful having another pair of arms around.
Post # 10
Member
4748 posts
Honey bee
@Beachy0404: You are not being unreasonable. I’m surprised she would consider staying with you the week before your wedding – obviously a busy, stressful time.
Post # 11
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
Tell him you’re going to be stressed out enough already, and need your home to be a sanctuary where you can relax and decompress. You can’t do that with guests, especially if the place is really small.
Post # 12
Member
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
DEFINITELY not unreasonable! II couldn’t handle that the week of our wedding, either!
Post # 13
Member
7109 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Diamond84: +1
I wouldn’t make his mom stay on a hotel. I’m sure she understands that you are busy and can’t play host all week.
Post # 14
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
I’m going to concur with the PPs on here…I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! The last thing that I would want to do on the week of our wedding is host! It really wouldn’t matter who it was, it just would be way too stressful! :-/
Post # 15
Member
2974 posts
Sugar bee
i don’t think that’s unreasonable at all. i’m actually surprised that his mom doesn’t see anything wrong with it either. usually women are more considerate of these things. when i got married, my mom didn’t want any houseguests either. and whenever we visit family for big events, we always leave the hosts alone and find other accomodations.
did she make other arrangements for the night of the wedding or will you and your husband be staying in a hotel? cause spending your wedding night with your husband and his mother would suck, lol
Post # 16
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
I’d “let” her stay, but I’d explain to both FI and FMIL that the guest room is packed (and I would not make an attempt to “clean it out”, and I’d also explain my other obligations, and tell her to feel free to “make herself at home”….hopefully she’d get the hint that she would have to cook, etc.
Member
