Post # 1
Ok, so I have always known that my Fiance is very excited about getting married and everything surrounding the wedding is a very big deal to him. But this one surprised me.
We were talking last night about his ring. I asked him when he might want to go ring shopping with me..and he said “never.” What? Never?
As it turns out, he doesn’t want to go shopping together for his ring. He doesn’t want to be involved at all. He wants ME to pick it out, buy it, and give it to him. For the record, he did not surprise me with my ring; we picked mine out together…because “I wanted you to get exactly what you wanted.” When I questioned him why we would do it differently for him, he said “Because I want the surprise. I want to wear the ring my wife chose for me. Besides, you know what I like as well as I do and you know my ring size.” I know his ring size? It turns out that when we were buying my ring, he had his finger sized. Yes, they did tell us what size it was, but I don’t remember…now I feel bad for not paying closer attention.
So, he will help pick it out if I insist, but I know he’d prefer not to. I’ll feel bad if I make him help, but I really, really am nervous about picking something he will wear every day for the rest of his life. What if he thinks I know he likes yellow gold and I think i know he prefers white? What if I pick something almost identical to what he had in his first marriage (yikes!!)
Has anyone else’s Fiance made such a request or is this as unusual as it seems to me? Any advice would be deeply apppreciated!!!
Post # 3
I would handle it like e-ring shopping- find out styles and widths that he likes, narrow it down to a few, then choose one. You may want to have him there for one trip just to see how the rings look on him, but not tell him which ones you are really thinking of choosing.
Post # 4
My Fiance said the same thing, but I’ve been showing him different rings online to make it easier for to see what he likes. He says he trusts my taste and he’s a pretty simple guy so I don’t think it will be very hard..
Post # 5
Most guys are happy with any ring. You could try to ask him for a few hints (width of band, color, plain vs. decorated)
Post # 6
HA holy role-reversal! I would first of all ask straight out for his size, you dont want it to not go on his finger the big day! then ask hinty questions like color and width. Don’t worry too much, guys are usually very simple, and clearly he has faith in you! I’m sure you’ll knock his socks off!
Post # 7
My Fiance was the same way. He wanted me to choose my own ring because he knows I’m kinda particular and he wanted me to be completely happy with it. I asked him to go look at styles that he would like for his band and he was not even one bit interested. He said he would like anything, that he had no opinion.
There was one incident when we were at the mall and I was trying to hint that we should look at bands and finally as we were walking past a jewelry store, I got a little frustrated and asked him, “why can’t you just humor me for once?” and sort of stormed off.
Eventually I just looked at styles online and found about 10 that I liked and showed them to him in a super casual manner and tried to gauge his reaction. He kept resisting until I showed him a few that were a little different and then he actually started to participate and have an idea about what he would like.
Post # 8
I’d try to get him to go looking with you once (although not actually have him pick out his ring). My Fiance thought he knew exactly what he wanted and that ring shopping for him would be soooo easy. Well when we actually went to try on rings, what he thought he liked, he no longer liked when it was on his finger. The width and style he wanted completed changed!
Your Fiance may find the same thing so if he goes with you once, both you and he will know for sure the style/width/color/etc he truely likes and then you can go back another time on your own to choose the actual ring. Then it is still a surprise to him but you’ll both be confident that it is what he wants and likes.