(Closed) FI wants to be a stay-at-home Dad

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

My step dad worked at night, my mom during the day. It’s not the same thing, but I was with my step dad all day. = ) It wasn’t weird. He did all the cooking and cleaning stuff.

Post # 4
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We are not currently in that situation but if one of us would stay home we would choose my hubs since I am the breadwinner and I am OK with this idea entirely. If the hubs would be itching to work, he has the opportunity to open his own business. We are both in the IT world, so he could start a desktop/network/server support company where he can work from home.

Unfortunately, it isn’t something we can do right now since we also support my Father-In-Law but I am sure if we wanted this to happen it can be done.

Post # 5
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Hopefully, further on down the line when we’re ready to have kids, we’ll have the finances to allow us to do this.  Fiance told me from the beginning he wants to be a stay at home dad, and that’s perfectly fine with me.  Both of my parents worked growing up, so I also stayed with my grandmother for a fair amount of the day until we got older.  Then my mom stayed home with us most of the time.  FI’s parents both worked full-time, and they stayed at day cares/after school programs.  That never changed.

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My husband would also like to stay at home with our kids.  Unfortunately, he will always make more money than I do, so staying at home full-time isn’t an option for us.  But right now he’s working toward a management position so he can start working from home 2-3 days a week.  Hopefully he’ll be working from home part-time within the next 2-4 years (or before we have our next baby!).

Honestly, I think my husband would be a much better stay-at-home parent than I would be.  He’s really self-motivated and good at setting goals for himself.  I seriously accomplish nothing during the day without outside motivators.  🙂  It’s just not my personality.  It might not be “mainstream,” but for us it just makes more sense for my husband to stay at home.

Post # 7
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My cousin’s husband is a stay-at-home dad. He was a police officer (in a bad area) and when they had children, they decided his job was too dangerous. Luckily she make plenty of money (and loves her job), and so now he stays home with the kids. He really likes it (and has been doing it for 10 years now), and with her being a career-minded woman, it was a great solution for them. 

 

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do you think that his PTSD will cause problems at all if he’s around little kids crying all day? I know that social work is stressful, but so is being a stay at home parent.

Post # 10
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If we could survive on just my income, I wouldn’t have a problem with him being a stay at home dad.  But right now, we can’t.  We need both incomes… unless he gets into the career he wants where he can use his degree.  Until then, we’ll need both incomes.

Post # 11
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so excited to read this! I love seeing “everyday people” shifting social norms. As much as we talk and hypothesize and lament the inequality associated with many gender norms, it is only when people actually DO something that it can change. Yay for you and your future family. And honestly, it sounds like such a good setup for you both. Good luck when the tme comes!

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh, that’s good to hear. I felt bad bringing it up, but it is a reality. I know women have woken up with their husbands choking them for PTSD after they got back from Iraq. I had to sit through a bunch of presentations for it, but luckily Darling Husband only came back with mild depression that went away quickly. I’m glad he’s seeing a therapist though! I hope he can get some help–that war is messing up so many of our good men and women. Can he get medical leave for it or anything? Disability or whatever? If he’s physically unable to work, well, sounds like a military disability issue to me. But they’re stinkers about it–DH has a tendon that disappeared during deployment (combat boots or something aggravated an issue) and they’re not helpful =(

Post # 13
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s great.  With my ex Boyfriend or Best Friend, he would’ve been stay at home, bc I make more than 2x as much as him, and at the time had a lot better benefits.  (He had no health insurance.)

With Darling Husband, though, we started out making the same, but he left our company and got almost a 50% raise!  Plus, he doesn’t have a domestic bone in his body.  He’s not really good about planning ahead on groceries, laundry, etc.  He waits until it HAS to be done, and I am much more domestic in that front.  (though, less domestic than a lot of women…we are both tn the SW industry and our house is a sty)

Post # 14
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

So our plan is that I’ll take 3 months of maternity leave from my ER job, and then Mr. will become a work/stay at home dad indefinitely (we’re thinking until the end of the first year).  We’ll probably hire a nanny for 20 hours a week so that he can actually get some work done!

I’m really happy that we won’t have to worry about daycare for the 1st year!

Post # 16
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

I have a some friends who are both Aerospave Engineers.  They met at their jobs but I think she was a year or two ahead of him as far as ‘career path’ goes. (And money)  His passion is soccer and he quit his job to be a stay-at-home dad and soccer coach. (Coaches Kids Travel – nothing professional – but I think he’s paid a little bit)  He’s in heaven.  Loves it and works great for them.

My husband claims if I let him become a stay at home dad he’ll have the house clean, laundry done, dinner ready, and kid(s) all taken care of when I get home from work.  I’m tempted to let him do it just so he sees it’s not *really* that easy 🙂  ha.

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