Post # 1
So, to catch you up to speed, a few months ago, Fiance told me to plan a destination wedding for end of 2013 (knowing full well that we would need plenty of time to plan and prepare and to tell everyone else). Then, life got in the way and we’re relocating from NY to SC and he got overwhelmed and asked me to put the planning on hold until after we move. There’s no official ring or grand proposal or anything (we weren’t even sure we were going to do a ring, then decided we were going to wait for the Amora Gem to come out), but I considered us “engaged” because he told me to start planning, we were talking about locations and dates (we picked a date we liked), etc.
Then, a few times now, he’s said that he really wants to get married 12-12-12. He loves the date and how this is the last chance in our lifetime to have a date like this for our anni (we clearly missed 11-11-11 and 10-10-10 and so on). He’s been asking me now if we could just get married then.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. I don’t have a dress, I’m not prepared for a wedding in less than 3 months, I feel like I’ve always wanted to be in the best place in my life when I got married, and I’m not there (with 20-30lbs of weight to lose, no idea where our lives are heading the next few months, and the like). Also, I’m Maid/Matron of Honor to my best friend who is planning her wedding in July 2013 and I don’t want to be that girl who just ups and gets married before her BFF – ew lol. At the same time, it’s pretty romantic, we could just escape the two of us and elope and have the whole planning process be done and over with… BUT MY DRESS lol.. what would I do without a dress?? Can I find a dress in this short time? I don’t even know what type of wedding he wants – except that when I said I couldn’t plan a wedding in 3 months, he pouted at me and said that it could be done – so I’m assuming no City Hall type wedding.
Maybe we should just book a vacation and elope and I’ll try my best to find a nice white dress in the meantime. I’m just afraid to regret it. Clearly, the most important thing to me in the wedding is my dress lol jk.. I just always assumed we would have a nice, intimate destination wedding, with our parents and our friends and I was never really into the idea of eloping because our friends and family wouldn’t be there. But, I’m not opposed to it, per se.. but would it be weird if the two of us eloped and then decided to have an at home reception or vow renewal (or destination reception/renewal) a year later?
What would you do??
Post # 3
@futuremrsk18: It’s just numbers so I don’t see what the big deal is. If you feel like getting married earlier is going to just stress you out more, then I think he should be more considerate. I would understand more if there was maybe a religious explanation for it.
Post # 4
I don’t think you should give up your vision just to have a “cool” anniversary date. When it comes down to it, that’s the only benefit of doing this in such a rush.
Post # 5
@littlegreenleaf: Neither of us are religious and nothing is really planned for any time. I’m not sure I would be “stressed” more necessarily, I just wonder if I would regret having a short proposal and a fast wedding without friends and family around or if I would be able to have a reception/vow renewal at a later time. I suppose if we went and eloped now and then planned an AHR for our friends and family, I wouldn’t care so much. He just likes the date lol..
Post # 6
No, I woudn’t rush the process just to have that date… it doesn’t really have any significance what so ever, right?
Post # 7
Think of it this way: You and your FH will always remember the date. I think it is a good date.
Post # 8
Personally, I wouldn’t because planning that in such a short amount of time is going to be tough. Plus, it’s almost October – people are making holiday plans and may not budget any vacation and/or travel time they may need for the wedding. I know my office already required vacation from November – January be submitted and approved by the end of August.
Post # 9
@MrsTVLover: Yes, and it’s kind of romantic that he wants to get married to me so badly he doesn’t want to wait for an arbitrary date next year. He keeps saying, “I don’t want to wait to marry you” and how cool 12-12-12 looks lol..
@Blanche: No, our anniversary is 12/17 if you ask him and 1/20 if you ask me.. lol
@bearbear1: I know, I like the date, too!
And, he always says I’m not spontaneous and impulsive enough.. maybe I should be for a change! Maybe it will be fun. I just don’t want to wear an ugly dress b/c it’s all I could find in 3 short months.
@abbie017: I don’t think we would be inviting anyone except maybe our parents.
Post # 10
@abbie017: hmmm….you have a good point.
Post # 11
A fun date isn’t worth possible regrets about your wedding, imo.
Also, it will be 12/12/12 this year, but your yearly anniversaries won’t line up like that. (12/12/13, 12/12/14, etc.). What about 11/12/13 if he wants a fun date? That’s at the end of 2013 like you were originally aiming for.
Post # 12
I can kind of understand the pull of dates, our wedding date was special to us because it is my husbands grandparents’ (the grandfather he’s named after) anniversary. At the same time these “number” dates that don’t have significance to you seem like less of a good reason to inconvenience yourselves. Also, your wedding date of course would always be 12-12-12, but, next year, your annivesary would be 12-12-13, less cute. My cousin has picked a similar date to get married and I am a bit frustrated because it’s in the middle of the semester, the middle of the week and >5 hours away (read: very inconvenient for my sister and I who she really wants to come to attend). All that so that she can have a date that is cute this year but never will be again!
I also think that if he wants to move the wedding up he should offer to step up and help with the planning, it’s not nice to put it all on you so that he can have a date he wants.
edit: I like the 11-12-13 idea 🙂
Post # 13
@futuremrsk18: Well, I am actually getting married tomorrow, JOP style. I am wearing a very pretty blue dress.
Post # 14
i agree! it would be cool to have that date but it doesnt sound like the best option for yall. there just isnt enough time, in my opinion. and you want to be able to enjoy it and no regret rushing it just for the cool date 🙂
Post # 15
We found a lot of places jacked up their prices for 12/12/12 because it was so popular, and by January of this year, it was already booking up for most places that we looked at. So be prepared to have a hard time finding a place and to pay a lot of extra money just for the date.
Post # 16
I would tell Fiance everything you said in your post. Don’t do anything that you are going to regret. You said you were originally planning for sometime later next year, what about 11/12/13. That’s a cool date too. If you are planning a Destination Wedding it shouldn’t be a problem. I am getting married on 10/11/12 and it’s a Thursday Destination Wedding and it is working out great for everyone.