(Closed) FI wants to spend our wedding night at home…& the best man is staying with us

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

4pm is awfully early to call it a day if all you get to do is drive people back to your house! I agree that it’d be nice to have time alone with your new husband so even though you are getting married locally, isn’t there anywhere you could stay for the night instead? Even a modest hotel would make the evening rather more special. 

Post # 3
2841 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Whoa!  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.


We did stay in a hotel room– but when my husband’s sister couldn’t afford a room on her own, and didn’t want to stay with thier other sister and her boyfriend in thier room….she never asked if she could stay with us, but we did have a brief, almost hoking conversation about it.  If there was one night that we weren’t going to let someone crash in our hotel room, it was the night of our wedding.  Same would have gone if we stayed at our house, most likely.  

I honestly don’t know if it would have bothered me so much if our reception wrapped up as early as yours is going to…..we ended up going out to a bar downtown after our reception ended, mostly because we were all dressed up!! And we went with friends.  We were so exhausted when we got back to the room, we didn’t even do the deed that night….but we did first thing the next morning.


Can your BM and his wife not afford a hotel room?  If you guys aren’t going to stay in one, have you thought about springing $100 towards a room for THEM to stay at?  (Not that it’s your responsibility, just throwing a suggestion out there).

You might end up having a nice night with the BM and his wife, but it’s a lot nocer knowing you have the option of doing whatever you might want on your wedding night.

Why is your husband so opposed to staying in a hotel, if you don’t mind me asking?

Post # 4
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

LibrarianBride: I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I do think your FH is being too accomodating however. It’s ok to be selfish and want to spend private time together, even if that means just taking some simple, quiet time to bask in your new marriage.

Your friends can stay at your house without you being there. I think you should get a nice place to stay the afternoon of your wedding day, unwind and relax solo.

Post # 6
2841 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think you just need to have an open conversation with you FI about this so you both know where eachother stands. 

I’m not a beat-around-the-bush type of person.  Before I assumed we were staying in a hotel, I’d talk to my husband (although we are usually always on the same page), and before I agreed that ANYONE could stay at our house – anytime – there would be a conversation about it.  I would not say “yes” and assume my FH wants to stay in a hotel with me.  We’d be having the conversation before BM got any sort of answer.  

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