(Closed) FI wants to travel to see female doctor but doesn't want me to come?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 106
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee

WestCoastV:  THIS! But you’re making way too much sense for the OP.smh

Post # 107
Member
1381 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wouldn’t think he was having an affair with his doc…but given that he used to live there, I might wonder if he was talking to an ex. Has he been at all sketchy about his phone and computer lately? If yes, I’d further investigate. If no, I’d chalk it up to him being weird and neurotic about his eyes and move on.

Post # 108
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

sosunnyincalifornia:  It does sound a little weird to me, not to the extent of being shady but why wouldn’t he want someone he knows there versus paying for a nurse? Just because you’re there doesn’t mean you’re hovering. When my Darling Husband (then BF) had Lasik, I took him to the appt, took him straight to the house after and to bed he went….I went out shopping for a couple hours haha! His phone was right next to him if he needed anything urgently. I came back a few hours later and helped with anything he needed, which wasn’t much but he liked having someone there – maybe my guy is the type that likes to be tended to though? 

I saw a mention of it earlier but the one big thing here is the flying after the procedure. My Darling Husband was supposed to fly shortly after and was told under no circumstances to fly until at least 5 full days had passed with zero issues. 

Post # 109
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

sosunnyincalifornia: There’s a reason why people find and stick with a doctor rather than try new ones out every single time. Your eyes- especially a scary procedure like Lasik should be done by someone you feel comfortable with. My friend and her husband went to an eye doctor out of state near their old home when they got the procedure done because their doctor was someone they trusted. I think the fact that this doctor is female is irrelevant. It’s a doctor and he’s going for 1 day- not a week. It’s silly for you to spend hundreds/thousands of dollars to go for 1 night so I think he is right here.

Post # 112
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

sosunnyincalifornia:  I really think the only thing you should be worried about at this point is the amount of money that will be spent travelling to see a doctor in another state. By the sounds of it a lot posters have had experiences with LASIK that are easy breezy and there’s no requirement to have someone else there with you.

I would personally want my husband there but, everyone is different and yours wants to do it alone. Sure there are probably countless doctors in your state that are more than capable but, that could be a trial and error process and he does trust the person he’s going to see…. Which probably makes the whole slicing into your eyeball thing easier to deal with.

Post # 113
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

Sorry bee, but this is sketchy. Wanting to go back to NY for eye surgery … that I get. But being so adamant about you not coming and this business of hiring a nurse? I don’t buy it. He’s planning on seeing someone there. 

Post # 114
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’d be pissy AF if my husband sulked over who I choose as my surgeon, even more so if he had an issue with my doctor being a male.  Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want you to come? 

 

Post # 115
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

alamana:  That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. I know this isn’t the healthy thing to do, but if I felt lied to, or if it seemed like things just didn’t add up and SO refused to explain his reasoning to me, I’d go snooping. 

Post # 116
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

Is it possible he is taking someone else to New York with him?

Post # 118
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

sosunnyincalifornia:  Yeh I doubt this is about him wanting to see the doctor…he wants to do something else while he’s there…

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