(Closed) FI wishy-washy about wedding… (vent)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry his mindset has changed especially when you thought you were compromising to please him in the first place. I understand it is difficult but try to cut him a little slack as his mom and grandma not being there is really an adjustment for him. My dad passed away before i was married the first time. I was so lost without him and couldnt imagine a wedding without him being there. My heart quickly changed from wanting the whole princess party to not wanting anyone there if my daddy couldnt be there. We ended up at the justice of the peace as a result. He probably is so upset that they cant be there that he is just using these other excuses to show his sadness rather than addressing his true feelings od disappointment. I know its not easy but try to stay positive. Hopefully by theday of some of the excitement will return withi  them and you guys can find a way to honor them but go o  and have a memorable time without them.

Post # 5
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

it sounds like something other than the wedding is bothering him. Men are known to be passive-aggressive when it comes to emotional issues. Level with him and see what’s up. Tell him you only want him and if all the other stuff is going to make him miserable then you can still pull the plug. and change plans, you thought you were honoring his wishes with the big affair.  Definitely time to re-evaluate your wedding plans, because whatever you decide on, big/small/three ring circus-you deserve to be happy and proud, and so does he. 

Post # 8
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly I would be more concerned if his  feelings on the wedding didn‘t change after losing both his grandmother and mother during the planning period.  Those are really big losses and of course it’s going to make him look at a big celebration differently.  I would try to focus less on your hurt feelings (like seriously is he supposed to go back in time before his grandmother/mother passed and not fight with you about the list ??) and focus more on getting him to communicate with you effectively.  I understand it’s upsetting to hear him say negative things about your wedding, but he deserves a lot of slack I think in this situation.

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kayrie95:  Oops, sorry! I didn’t read closely enough.  Ok, well that is a different story.  Have you sat down and just flat out discussed his 180 in feelings about the wedding?  It might just be kind of pre-wedding jitters now that it’s coming right up and the money is being spent and it just all seems very real.  I would let him know how much his comments hurt your feelings, he might feel like he is just venting and not realize that it really bothers you, especially considering the wedding choices that you made because of what he wanted.

I’m sure he is still excited to marry you and you will have a lovely day and he’s just having a bit of a hard time now right in the home stretch.

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