(Closed) Fi won't ask groomsmen

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: What should I do?
    Leave it & just hope he asks soon. : (42 votes)
    53 %
    Take charge. Ask them myself. : (5 votes)
    6 %
    Nag, nag, nag : (27 votes)
    34 %
    Other. (Please comment) : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I think that men have a slightly different sense of time when it comes to wedding planning.  My fiance keeps saying that it’s so far away and he just wants it to be now so we can be married.  It’s in 6 months and I’m getting stressed about all of the things I still have to do!  My fiance hasn’t asked his men either, but it’s destination for his side so I think he’s waiting to see who can come and who can’t, so it isn’t a lot of pressure on them.  I’m letting him handle it.  If the sides are uneven I don’t care.

    Post # 32
    Member
    2064 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    missrosemary:  don’t worry about the tables on the dance floor, the reception will probably give a small break after the sit down, take the tables down and ask you to do your first dance. I’m in the UK, so sweetheart tables aren’t really a thing here. What I did is mix the parents up during the meal so from left to right it went my dad, my Mother-In-Law, dh, me, mum, Father-In-Law. My parents are divorced but can be trusted. I did it more because my Father-In-Law had been pissing me off and he didn’t deserve to sit next to his wife and act however he wanted, put next to my mum he had to use some of his well hidden politeness.

    Post # 33
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee

    missrosemary:  Trust me, they are always slow when it comes to wedding planning. My Fiance still doesn’t have his suit and our wedding is in July. Don’t worry he will do it.

    Post # 34
    Member
    7418 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If your fi asks his friends too late and they can’t find his  custom fancy suit in a store near them, he will learn how to lower his standards pretty quickly (aside: I do hope he is paying for this suit for his groomsmen because it’s a real jerk move to insist that a tux hire is not good enough but then stick your friends with the bill).

    If he drags his feet too long and none of his friends can participate, then you divide your bridesmaids and tell half to stand next to you and half next to him.

    Your parents need to grow the eff up and act like adults.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    A friend of mine is getting married in early June and just now got his groomsmen all organized. Guys just don’t think about these things the way that we do. 

    When my parents got married (in the 80s) my dad didn’t ask anyone… he doesn’t have any siblings, he has a few cousins but just never really hung out with any, was a complete introvert and here was their wedding party:

    Bride side: bride, Matron of Honor – sis of the bride, maid of honor – sis of the bride, bridesmaids (2) – cousins of the bride, flower girl, niece of the bride 

    Groom side: best man – brother of the bride, head groomsman (possible co-best man) brother in law of the bride, groomsmen and ushers – cousins of the bride, ring bearer – nephew of the bride. 

    So everyone thought my mom was a total bitch and had completely orchestrated the entire wedding party, except she was just doing what she knew he wouldn’t do (she says looking back, instead of having cousins in there, she should have just stuck with her two sisters, brother and brother in law and niece and nephew). 

    The reason I brought that up, is because I guess there is a tiny chance your Fiance could be like that and maybe no necessarily actually want to ask? 

    But in the end, I think its just that guys are different than we are and are very last minute creatures. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    1272 posts
    Bumble bee

    Let him handle it, it doesn’t have to be your problem. If he forgets, asks too late or none of the guys are available/want to do it then it will just make him look like he has no friends (and he’ll have no one to blame but himself). Nobody will judge you for only having bridesmaids. Plus, by not involving yourself, it will send the message that you will not be babying him and he needs to handle his own responsibilities like an adult.

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