- 5 years ago
Just as the title reads: my Fi refuses to hang out with his friends unless I tag along.
I’ve hung out with his friends many times before, and don’t mind doing it, I just don’t understand why I have to go every time? I’ve explained to Fi that I think time apart and spending time with friends separately is healthy – especially since we live together – and I encourage him to have guys nights! But he refuses unless I go with him.
For example: a few months ago, his friend invited us to come over and hang with other people. Fi accepted the invite without asking me, and when he told me the plans, I explained I was gonna be on my period which makes me feel horrible, so I probably wouldn’t attend, but he was more than welcome to! He then explained that he wouldn’t go without me because he’d have to come up with a lie about why I wasn’t there. Ummm whaaat? I told him just to tell everyone I didn’t feel up to it, but he sulked and ended up not going.
Why would he need to lie? Lol… it’s ridiculous, why not just say “she didn’t want to come tonight”? I have invited him out with my friends but never expect him to come. When he refuses I tell my feiends, “he just wanted to stay home.” What’s wrong with that?
I mean, seriously, is this normal? Again, I always encourage him to go out and reassure him I’ll have fun catching up on projects or even just lounging around on Pinterest. He says he doesn’t want to leave me because he wants to spend time with me, which is sweet, but we see each other every day (even though our date night is Saturday). I’d think most men want a guys night.
For reference, he was married before. When I ask him about her, he says she would go out every weekend with her friends and that he would stay home. I just don’t understand why it’s different now?
Soooo… thoughts? It’s kind of driving me crazy!! Again, I’ve hung out with his friends before, I just don’t feel like I need to be there every time.
ETA: Fi is a people pleaser and his friend we always hang out with gets extremely pissy/butt hurt if someone cancels on plans. Maybe that has to do with it? Also, I wonder if Fi feels bad because all my friends live far away, like he’s abandoning me or something? I don’t knoooow…