(Closed) FI won't pick groomsmen

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@GeorgiaBride5:  Don’t worry about having uneven guy/girl ratio. We are- I am having 4 bridesmaids and he is having 2 groomsmen. 

Post # 4
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my god I feel your pain! Except worse: my wedding is in 2 and half months!!! AHHHH! Fiance didnt think he would ever get married so he never really thought about it. It is important to me to have my sister and my best friend stand up with me but he dosent really have anyone close to him. He has been throwing out a few friends names and has one brother that he isnt that close with as well as a cousin he likes. I am at the point where I dont give a crap whether he likes the groomsmen or not! Just friken ask someone!!!

Post # 5
Member
46419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@GeorgiaBride5:  You said ” We don’t mind if they are unbalanced sides.”  If you really don’t mind, back off and let him choose his groomsmen, or not. Choose your bridal party without regard to the number of groomsmen. Done.

Post # 6
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Fiance won’t decide on any attendants, so we’re having one bridesmaid and that’s it.  I have one junior bridesmaid to hold the flowers and rings.

Ask your other two friends and take them shopping if you want three.

Post # 7
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Is FI’s father alive? I ask because my Future Father-In-Law is going to be my groom’s best man! Do you have any male relatives (brothers, close cousins, etc.)? Because if your Fiance really wants more than one groomsman, then perhaps those would be options.

Post # 8
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

Or a sister? 

I feel your pain. My fiance has friends but no stand out friend to be a best man and I am afraid it will be awkward for him.  

Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@GeorgiaBride5:  Are you worried that you will have an uneven bridesmaid/groomsmen ratio?  Or are you worried that your Fiance has decided he wants more groomsmen but hasn’t made any moves to ask them? 

It seems a bit weird to me that he would want to spend more money to rent 5 tuxes just to save on the free one, when he would be spending less to to rent just 2 tuxes (one for him and one for his best man), but maybe I’m missing some points to your question/concern.

Post # 11
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@GeorgiaBride5:  Gah, I actually wish I had that problem.  Ours was opposite. He had sooo many guys in mind and I had just a few girls. I was really picky with my selection and he wasnt. He is now regretting his decision on two of the guys with 4 months to go!

Post # 14
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@GeorgiaBride5:  Tell him you’ll get him a suit as his wedding gift, problem solved 🙂  (I’m kidding, of course.)  In all seriousness, I would just give him a reasonable deadline for when he should decide and ask someone to be his groomsman and say that if he hasn’t decided by that time then you’ll decide for him.  In the meantime, I wouldn’t let it hold up any of your own planning with your bridesmaids.  My Fiance also has a tendency of being wishy washy and when he gets that way I just have to be like, “OK, can you decide by x date and let me know?  Otherwise, I’m just going to pick for you.” That way, you give him control of his decision, but should he be unable to do that, you can easily take the control back and keep things running.

Post # 16
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@GeorgiaBride5:  Hmm, that’s pretty frustrating.  Sounds like you’re going to need to resort to a little meanness and tell him if he doesn’t decide within [time period], that then he’s just stuck with the current number of groomsmen, end of discussion.  I just feel like in these cases, if one side is being wishy washy and it’s impacting overall planning, someone just needs to step up and make the tough calls. You can’t keep guessing what he’s going to do.

Do you think there’s something deeper going on behind his bogus excuses?  Like maybe there’s some extenuating circumstance or anxiety that he’s feeling that he’s not expressing?

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