(Closed) Fiancé and I can't agree on what to say about gifts

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What instructions about gifts should we include in our invitation?
    Say nothing about gifts. : (51 votes)
    93 %
    Say no gifts. : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Say no gifts, but if people want to donate to charity or give money that would be welcome. : (3 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1308 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would say nothing.  People will gift (or not gift) as they see appropriately.

    If you really want to send a message, have a very small registry.  Other than that, say nothing.

    Post # 4
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I’m Australian too, and the vast majority of invitations I’ve received have had gift information. Usually in the form of a god awful half-rhyming poem begging for cash. I hate it, I think it’s so rude, but I’m clearly in the minority seeing as every single wedding invitation seems to have it. Especially annoying when I’ve been invited to engagement parties where a gift isn’t even required, and then being told to give cash. And then no freaking thank you note to boot. 

    ANYWAY. Your situation is different because you are trying to discourage gifts. I think your heart is in the right place, but your guest’s hearts will probably be coming from a good place too – if they can afford it, they will want to give you something. I don’t think you can really tell somebody not to give a gift if they really want to give it. 

    As for homewares, I wouldn’t be too concerned. At all the weddings I have been to recently, it was all envelopes – even the ones that didn’t specifically ask for cash. Some older people will give a boxed gift no matter what, but most people I know give money nowadays. People are aware of things like contributing towards the honeymoon, saving for house deposits, paying mortgages, etc! If you want word to get around, tell your parents and siblings subtly that, if anybody asks, cash would be a nice present because you are saving for *whatever*. That way you aren’t asking directly. Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2627 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    We’re getting married next year but are basically planning to say

    “The best present you can give us is your presence.

    However, should you want us to buy us a little something, we are registered here: http://www.example.com

    I think your way sounds fine, but be prepared that some people will get you a gift if you want one or not!

    Post # 6
    Member
    9041 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    melbournebee87:  Aussie here. We mentioned nothing on our invites but if someone asked us or our parents directly what we wanted we just said no gifts please. 

    We still got a couple of physical gifts and some cash gifts which we were extremely grateful for. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9198 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    etiquette wise – saying “no gifts” is just as rude.  it sends the message that you expected them to bring gifts but are trying to be kind by saying not to bring anything.

    i would just say nothing.  if you don’t register anywhere, people tend to give money.

    you should then take the money YOU receive and dontate it to the charity of YOUR choice.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2134 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It is extremely tacky to include gift information on an invite but I’m from the USA. 

    We didn’t register anywhere nor did we mention anything anywhere. People will either give money or bring a gift of their choosing no matter if you have a registry or not

    Post # 11
    Member
    47203 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    As already stated, it is rude to say anything about gifts.

    If you truly don’t need or want gifts, consider donating them to your closest womens shelter or transition house to help abused women and their families settle in to a new home.

    The topic ‘Fiancé and I can't agree on what to say about gifts’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors