Post # 1
Hi Bees, I’m getting marred on April 30 and I strongly feel I don’t want to say anything about gifts on the invite. Most of our wedding choices are about how to make sure our guests have a fantastic time and I hate being told what to give when I’m a guest. Add that to the fact about half our guests need to travel interstate to attend, I really don’t want to tell them they need to give us money if they are already spending money to come to the wedding.
My Fiancé is happy to respect my feeling about this and do it my way and say nothing, but I can tell he wants to say something along the lines of ‘No gifts necessary but if you want to give something a donation to charity or a contribution to our future would be the best way to help us celebrate’. i’m just not convinced that saying that gives people an option of not buying a gift if they don’t want to? He just really doesn’t want us to say nothing and be given a whole heap of homewares we don’t need, which I understand.
Post # 2
I should add, we are Australian, so i’m not sure if potentially the gift giving etiquette is slightly different here?
Post # 3
I would say nothing. People will gift (or not gift) as they see appropriately.
If you really want to send a message, have a very small registry. Other than that, say nothing.
Post # 4
I’m Australian too, and the vast majority of invitations I’ve received have had gift information. Usually in the form of a god awful half-rhyming poem begging for cash. I hate it, I think it’s so rude, but I’m clearly in the minority seeing as every single wedding invitation seems to have it. Especially annoying when I’ve been invited to engagement parties where a gift isn’t even required, and then being told to give cash. And then no freaking thank you note to boot.
ANYWAY. Your situation is different because you are trying to discourage gifts. I think your heart is in the right place, but your guest’s hearts will probably be coming from a good place too – if they can afford it, they will want to give you something. I don’t think you can really tell somebody not to give a gift if they really want to give it.
As for homewares, I wouldn’t be too concerned. At all the weddings I have been to recently, it was all envelopes – even the ones that didn’t specifically ask for cash. Some older people will give a boxed gift no matter what, but most people I know give money nowadays. People are aware of things like contributing towards the honeymoon, saving for house deposits, paying mortgages, etc! If you want word to get around, tell your parents and siblings subtly that, if anybody asks, cash would be a nice present because you are saving for *whatever*. That way you aren’t asking directly. Good luck!
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
We’re getting married next year but are basically planning to say
“The best present you can give us is your presence.
However, should you want us to buy us a little something, we are registered here: http://www.example.com“
I think your way sounds fine, but be prepared that some people will get you a gift if you want one or not!
Post # 6
melbournebee87: Aussie here. We mentioned nothing on our invites but if someone asked us or our parents directly what we wanted we just said no gifts please.
We still got a couple of physical gifts and some cash gifts which we were extremely grateful for.
Post # 7
etiquette wise – saying “no gifts” is just as rude. it sends the message that you expected them to bring gifts but are trying to be kind by saying not to bring anything.
i would just say nothing. if you don’t register anywhere, people tend to give money.
you should then take the money YOU receive and dontate it to the charity of YOUR choice.
Post # 8
missmunch: Thank you so much for this. I’m in 100% agreement with you, especially about the engagement gift requests.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone! I think we’ll go ahead and just have nothing about gifts in the invitations.
Now I just need to order them ASAP as we don’t have long to go now!
Post # 10
It is extremely tacky to include gift information on an invite but I’m from the USA.
We didn’t register anywhere nor did we mention anything anywhere. People will either give money or bring a gift of their choosing no matter if you have a registry or not
Post # 11
As already stated, it is rude to say anything about gifts.
If you truly don’t need or want gifts, consider donating them to your closest womens shelter or transition house to help abused women and their families settle in to a new home.