(Closed) Fiance bought engagement and wedding rings on e-bay used :-(

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 137
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

If it were me, I’d get them cleaned up and personalized in some way to make them “yours”.  Like changing the shank or prongs or something.  Jewelers purchase diamonds from people upgrading all the time, so your stone may have actually been from several people.  If you want a setting that feels like yours, add a special touch that makes you feel good.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I’m all about being frugal, but used tennis shoes??? Really???

Post # 139
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Any updates OP?  How is the situation going?

Post # 140
39 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Choose a new setting and get the diamond reset. It will be your style! No biggie about the used ring. All that matters is the diamond inside. Switch the settting and make it you!

Post # 141
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Having a used Engagement Ring wouldn’t bother me if it were being sold because the owner was upgrading or didn’t like it any more or needed the money, etc. Or an heirloom/family stone.

But having an e-ring from an engagement that went south just isn’t something I would want. Like buying a house somebody died in…it might be a great buy, but that’s some bad juju attached!

Post # 142
46 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

In my opinion, the real problem is the lack of consideration shown for OP at this special time in her life.  Makes me sad, really.  I mean, they’ve gone to 5 stores already looking for the Man’s BAND.  Really??  OP didn’t even get to go shopping and try on any other rings, even for fun.  

I would be pretty glum about the situation, and personally…I would be rethinking the whole “rest of our lives” thing.  

Who’d want to be the one in the relationship that’s always given the most thought-LESS gift? Ugh. Not me.  ๐Ÿ™   I mean, being “frugal” is great, but it doesn’t sound like being money conscience so much as taking the cheapest and easiest/fastest/effortless way out.  Used running shoes on Ebay?  Re-gifting jewlery from an old girlfriend?  Hell, pick me some roadside wild flowers and call it a day…

I’m just sad for OP.  I wish this were more fun for her. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 143
3304 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I thought about this some more and decided that the ring must bother you if you posted about it.  More to the point, although you are frugal, your FI’s cheap and dishonest is troubling.  (And he didn’t even bother to get the ring cleaned up and polished.  Ugh)

I think that he should sell the ring/return it and get you something you are happy with.  If he won’t do that I would seriously re-consider marrying this man.

Post # 144
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@bulldogsluvme:  I totally agree. I think a big discussion about respect and equality in the relationship is needed, based soley on what I’ve read here.

Post # 145
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It always makes me laugh when people are all “I’d NEVER accept a used ring!” when 99% of all rings are just gutted from someone else’s used jewelry. Sorry you’re disappointed OP. The real issue is, he sounds cheap. Not frugal. This is a purchase that should be special, and he failed to make it so.

Post # 146
4 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d just like to say that my fiance and I picked out my engagement ring together on eBay and its the most perfect ring in the world. It was around I think $240 and its .52 carat diamonds with a 14k white gold band. We took it to a jeweler to get it resized and I asked the man to check its authenticity and everything checked out 100%. He asked how much I payed and he said in his store a similar ring would be well over $800, so needless to say I feel like I got a good deal. 

Some people are just more frugal than others, and because my fiance and I weren’t working and are college students we couldn’t afford and wouldn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on the ring. If you don’t LOVE the ring though, thats a whole different subject. It’s going to be on your hand for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t feel insulted though by used items, its really not a big deal. 

When in doubt after you get married, ditch the engagement ring and just wear the wedding band.

Post # 147
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

it doesnt seem the ring exactly that is the issue.. i’d speak to him about the process and how you feel, its not spoiled.. people often feel strangely about second hand things, and its not that it was wrong of him to get sommething second hand, but its the kind of thing even if not asking you outright, he should have gathered you thoughts on prior to buying. Especially as you cant return it to a store.

Second hand runners, not cool!

Post # 148
335 posts
Helper bee

I have to agree with atlbride2013, but, I’m superstitious, too.  I would never want a ring from a relationship that ended with a break-up.

Post # 149
4793 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


Me…. I personally wouldn’t care if my FI  got me a second hand ering. I’m not superstitious. I also figure that gold and diamonds are always being reset and melted down to reform new jewelry….(you never know someones piece of jewelry could be made using from an old gold filling!!!…hehehe…. just joking!!!)

MY Issue would be that he lied to you and he also knew your thoughts on recycled gifts and second hand ebay buys!!! The point that he still went ahead with the purchase speaks volumes. As PP have said…..used sneakers…. and gifts purchased for the ex….. yuck!!!

If everytime you look at the ring and get angry about it then I would sell it back on ebay and buy a new ring. I’d hate to have to wear something for 50 years that reminded me of how angry I was and bought up negative feelings.




Post # 150
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

used shoes? um what…..


moving on from that lol I wouldnt mind a used ring personally I would have it cleaned and buffed and im sure it will look new, dont let this ruin how you feel about your new engagement ring ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 151
193 posts
Blushing bee

i don’t even know what to say. it wouldn’t bother me though, may be they’ll clean it for you? though the thing with jewels which were meant for ex gf doesn’t sound good. I think you should think about it more. wait to see how it will look like after it will be cleaned. Did you consider that may be he didn’t afford new ones? i would think he wanted to give you a beautiful ring but didn’t have enough money so that’s why he thought buying it used would be the best. 

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