- Mrs Christopher
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I dunno if this has been answered yet but how “used” were these running shoes. We’re they out of the box and never worn or actually run in? Run in shoes are a problem because it could actually hurt you.
I don’t really see used rings as a problem. It’s sort of like shopping at an estate sale. You can get an amazing older piece for the fraction of what it costs now or get something that isn’t even made anymore. But I guess he didn’t really save much as you have mentioned by getting it on ebay, that is a bummer.
Here’s the question though. Were you upset about it before you found out it was on ebay? And did you know that they’re are several places online were you could get a used diamond band for him. Honestly, I would mention that you guys can get a much better deal on his diamond band at a pawn shop, online or even at Walmart (if he’s okay with silver).
I wouldn’t be mad at the used bit but I would be pissed off if it turned out he went straight to ebay for your ring and now you have to go put a ton of effort into his so he can get what he wants. Then that’s messed up.
Honestly I would just sit there and tell him how you feel. FI was honest with me about my ring. I wanted a certain thing he wasn’t sure he could afford it. I was never too thrilled with the Jewelry Exchange but thought well they have nice diamonds and that’s all we need so I gave the okay and that’s what he did. He would have never went behind my back and got it from somewhere like a pawn shop or ebay unless he knew I was okay with that first.
Your Fiance has given you used gifts over and over again and some even unappropriately used gifts. Depending on how used the running shoes were okay. Exes jewelry totally not okay (if the ex never wore it and had it laying around he should have taken an ebay cue and sold it there). A used ring well eh.
You seem to like the ring, and it seems like he didn’t cheap out on you in anyway other than that it was used. But I would still sit down and talk to him altough I’m not sure how that can be said without sounding wrong.
I would like to know my Fiance went through the effort of finding me something I liked (at a great price) and then wouldn’t mind turning around and putting effort into his. But I can see how buying that from ebay and handing it to you all scratched and not in the right size can feel like no effort was made.
When Fiance brought my ring home (now with a diamond it in) they had polished and cleaned it (its 60 years old). It would have been nice if your Fiance had a least put the effort in to polish it before it was presented. Then again if he had polished it it could have been perceived as more deceitful. And another thing is he went and got it from ebay and it seems that he either thought you would be upset so he tried to keep it a secret. You are going to wear the ring forever too why should yours come from ebay and his come from a store?
I’d try to tell him something along the lines of well we can get your ring used too and I’d prefer to save the money. If he indicates thats not good enough for him then you know you have a problem, if he says okay then there’s no feeling left out.