Post # 1
Bees, I am beside myself. My fiance broke his ankle yesterday and we spent all day at the hospital. It’s a bad break and he may need surgery. We find out for sure at a follow up appointment on Thursday. They are saying a minimum of 6 week recovery time and more if he needs the surgery.
We are supposed to be married on the beach in Kauai in less than a month. He’s on crutches with a full cast. We were planning a beach ceremony and then doing photos on both the beach and in some more rugged areas. There is no way he’ll be able to do any of that now. Not to mention all of the activities we planned on doing like hiking!
This trip was scheduled very carefully around work travel – we both have pretty crazy schedules. But…it’s not going to be any fun if we can’t do anything besides sit by the pool or beach. Plus, he’ll be miserable on the long flight and getting through the airport.
I’m SO disappointed. But I don’t see any way around rescheduling it to after he is healed.
So, that brings me to my follow up question. If we reschedule a few months down the road, should we still try to get married on the date we’d planned on? We could do a courthouse elopment with some cute photos and then go to Kauai on our honeymoon once he’s better. But, my dream was getting married on the beach!
Post # 2
Ouch that sucks! One of my husbands cousins was headed to mexico for xmas and broke his leg 2 days before they left. They still ended up going, but he was on crutches or in a wheel chair for most of the time. Nice way to relax though lol.
I like your idea of a courthouse wedding and then honeymoon on the beach, but unless you’re in a rush, postponing the entire thing for 2 months isn’t *that* terrible. Especially if its really important to you to get legally married on the beach.
Post # 3
Ouch. That’s terrible, bee! Plus I’m sure he’s in a lot of pain right now. I’m sure you are – but make sure you are supporting him and not just being sad because of the elopment plans. (Sometimes when I think I’m supporting my husband, it’s not very apparent that I am, so I have to work to be extra supportive. I’m not saying that you are like this… but I am, so just wanted to throw it out there as some friendly advice – just in case. 🙂 )
Especially if he has to have surgery, I’d postpone Hawaii. I have two colleagues with broken ankles right now (and they were SEVERE breaks), one after three months is finally using crutches after having to avoid putting ANY weight on it at all. The other is almost to three months and has barely been able to leave the house because the ankle was shattered. It sounds like your FI’s isn’t that bad since he’s already using crutches to get around rather than a wheelchair.
Instead of a courthouse wedding, could you do an elopement in the city where you live – do the same thing you’d planned on the beach but out in nature wherever you live? You could pick a nice spot that is easily accessible. Then you can do your dream beach trip later and still take your dress and get the pictures that you wanted.
Post # 4
Aww that sucks! I’d definitely still get married if I were in your situation… you can have a romantic renewal just between the two of you at the beach, not even a stranger officiant needed to ensure all goes legally. It might even be better!
its not really the same but my husband smashed his pinky pretty badly before our wedding. Left hand, of course. There’s a clunky looking finger splint in all our photos but it’s just a funny memory now (actually I was mean enough to tease him from the start). You’ll both get there too.
Post # 5
That sucks, Bee! I’m so sorry! Love Kauai but it’s definitely a more active vacation destination. I would not recommend going until your man finishes his PT.
I guess the question you really need to answer in this situation is: how significant is your original wedding date versus the location you envisioned? Only you know which is the most important.
Hope he heals quickly! My husband broke his wrist in a bike accident and needed surgery and OT on his hand and wrist. I definitely recommend calcium supplements! It speeds up the healing.
Post # 6
I was recently in a walking boot due to breaking a bone clean entirely off my ankle (evulsion fracture) and I was SO miserable for the first month. I was so upset to not be able to dance, hike and walk my dog.
Seeing activities you want to do and can’t is pretty awful when you’re in the beginning stage of what seems devastating at the time. So I would pospone the trip for him if you can.
Agree with PP re ideas for getting married now versus later. Mostly, try not to show how disappointed you are, I’m guessing your Fiance is in that horrible first stage of grieving all that he can’t do which feels like it will never end when you’re in it. Trying not to sound dramatic, but impart the level of upset and depression that can accompany an injury that puts a huge damper on activities.
So sorry that this happened, Bee and hoping that he recovers well and you can enjoy your trip together soon!
Post # 7
Oh, that sucks so hard! I’m sorry. I think if it were me, I’d rather postpone the whole shebang a few months, rather than keep your wedding date and then honeymoon later. I would have loved to have gotten married on a beach, and if I got as close as you were with everything finalized, I’d be so disappointed to just give it up completely.
Post # 8
Hi everyone, thank you. I am trying not to let him see that I’m upset by it because obviously it’s not his fault and I know he feels bad. I told him we will figure it out.
The wedding date itself isn’t that significant but we would like to be married soon for non-romantic logistical reasons like adding me to his health insurance. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how long we’ll need to wait to decide if we should do a civil ceremony locally.
I definitely still want to do photos on the beach in my beachy wedding dress, so we can maybe do a repeat ceremony if we aren’t going to wait until Hawaii. I’m planning to contact our coordinator to see if we can just postpone everything.
OMG how painful! I know he feels really bad and is struggling because there are so many things he can’t do, so I’m definitely trying to keep my disappointment to myself. I think our best bet is postponing the trip.
Thanks for the recommendation – I will pick up some calcium supplements tonight!
If we decide to do the ceremony here, I like the idea of doing a “local” elopement. Maybe we do a courthouse wedding, have a lovely dinner somewhere and stay at a nice place within driving distance for a night or two. Could be a fun alternative until we can make it to Hawaii!
I will keep you guys updated. I do feel better after seeing everyone’s responses. This seemed SO BAD yesterday but now I think we can make the best of it. Thanks bees!
Post # 9
So sorry about his ankle. If it was me, I’d go ahead and get married. We enloped at a B&B about 40 minutes from home. I wouldn’t have postponed our wedding for anything. We had already been together for many years before we got engaged.
Post # 10
Can you file for domestic partnership to get on his health insurance now and then figure out how you want to handle the wedding once you know more about his prognosis?
Post # 11
Ugh, I am so sorry! I would definitely put the HI wedding plans on hold. Realistically, it could take longer than 3 months to heal from a bad break. My mother never fully recovered from breaking her ankle. Your Fiance may be in physical therapy for an extended period of time to recover and manage pain.
Personally I’d probably have the local courthouse elopement and plan for a much further date to honeymoon in HI. Maybe 8-12 months down the road. This way you can enjoy your time there, possibly do a photo shoot, etc.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate
Any chance you are going under his health insurance because you are losing your current insurance? If that’s the case you would most likely be allowed to be added to his plan due to “life- changing circumstances” i.e. loss of job; loss of health coverage, etc. My d.h was losing his a few months before our wedding so I was able to switch him to mine immediately because of that situation.
Post # 13
No, my insurance through my company is just crazy expensive compared to his! And the benefits are crappy.
We probably could. It’s not an urgent thing – I have insurance. It’s just really expensive.
Post # 14
So sorry this happened! Echoing PPs, it could take longer than a few months for him to be ready to travel. If you’re anxious to pin down new travel dates I’d allow a minimum of six months to be safe.
Post # 15
Yeah, I think this may be what we have to do. Maybe we could go in the fall around our “dating” anniversary instead and do some wedding photos on the beach and enjoy a belated honeymoon.