- 7 years ago
I have been having a hard time dealing and I’m super brokenhearted and devastated.. and I’m hoping for some advice on this board :(( But this is long and I need to be detailed about what happened..
I have been with my bf for 2years and engaged for the next 9months.
We had some troubles in the beginning regarding some trust issues, and he had broken up earlier off for a month, but then we rekindled, and later on and he proposed to me a few months later after being back together. I was ecstatic to start a life with him, and That we worked out the kinks.
All has been going well but here were some key factors that made it go downhill:
He works a lot and is very stressed out from having recently made a career switch. Where he got fired for the first month, and then had another immediate transition to another position that wasn’t what he truly wanted, but took it as a leap of faith that it will work out in the end and also not to be jobless.
Adding to that, the next reason is my fault. We dot live together but I guess he expects me to have taken more initiative to be more independant like driving more on my own instead of having him pick me up all the time and drive me to places… and also to show him a more domestic side like cooking a bit etc…
A month ago on mothers day, we were having a light argument over him not spending enough time with me, and it just went from bad to worse and suddenly this became about me and about my independence and domestic-wifey qualities.
I did all I could after that to patch it up… I drove over to him to show him I do take the initiative and I made him sheppards pie to deliver to him… a week from that I baked him banana bread, and all seems like he was accepting my actions and he even told me how much he appreciate my efforts and kissed me and hugged me ever so tightly.
Then a few days from my banana bread. Break up was final. He said it wasn’t enough. And that I did all the changes only. at the end of the rope.
He said that he loves me still but it’s not enough, and I didn’t try hard enough to be what he needs.
I don’t understand why he wouldn’t let me fix it. I spoke to my family and my friends and they also don’t understand why it was final when these things are easily worked upon. People only live together after marriage and only start wifey behaviours then.
I have given him the ring back, against my will, and going through vendor cancellationa process but I haven’t had the strength to do it yet. I asked him if he has cancelled anything, and he hasn’t gotten around to it either. It’s been almost 3 weeks of the final breakup.
i am now going through NC in hopes that he would realized what he has done… I still love him and he has told me he still loves me to after our closure convo. And I know it is true because his family has seen him depressed…
What am I to think now? Does anyone think it is salvageable and he would come back to me?