(Closed) Fiance called off wedding and broke up

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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darksideofthemoon :  He can’t change his mind about the car. If it didn’t start out as a loan, then he can’t turn it into a loan after the fact. You should not be paying him back for the car. He paid for it in contemplation of you being a couple and combining finances one day. So it was a gift. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!

Post # 47
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

Has he asked for the ring? Wouldn’t give it back if I were you but I think you have to in most places because it is a conditional gift.

Post # 51
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

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darksideofthemoon :  “And I just cannot understand how somebody who was dumped by his fiancée  before the wedding can then go around and do the exact same thing to somebody else, when he knows how much it hurts and how much embarrassment it causes. “

Sadly, people find a way to rationalize and justify anything in their minds to avoid feeling guilty. He must have justified it in his head that this situation is different from when he was dumped by his own fiancee, and convinced himself that he is in the right.

Post # 52
Member
13670 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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darksideofthemoon :  

“He said that he lost more money than I did and I am the one who is getting a greater amount back in refunds, but he is ignoring the fact that the reason we are losing a ton of money at all is because he canceled the wedding with just 3 months to go.”

I didn’t see your reply to my comment about this on the deleted thread, but I’m glad you seem to get it now. He is 100% responsible for any financial loss you have suffered and needs to pay for that in full. The vendor refunds are not the end of it. You may now be stuck with additional expenses you wouldn’t have otherwise had, moving, furniture, deposits, and the car. In all fairness he ought to be paying for all of those things. 

The only thing he may be entitled to is the ring, but you don’t need to bring that up at this time.

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Post # 53
Member
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Come on OP, don’t you offer to pay HIM back! The car was a gift. It’s yours. Just keep it. He can’t expect you to pay him back for every gift he gave you through the course of the relationship, that’s not how it works, it’s just a sunk cost. Don’t offer the ring back, general etiquette would say that if you broke it off you would offer it back, if he breaks it off you keep it. He should pay for the lost money from cancellations. Can I ask how much money you are out? I do understand that if someone is being difficult it can be easier to just shoulder the cost and walk away. But don’t go overboard and start paying him back for things. 

Post # 54
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

So did he turn up yesterday? What happened?

Post # 55
Member
10210 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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darksideofthemoon :  

Oh, hell, Bee.  Don’t give him a damn thing.  Let him sue you.  I’d buy tickets to that, although I’d bet the farm he would never do it.

Post # 56
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

That car was clearly purchased with you expecting a joint future together. He ended it so why should you pay him for anything? Especially not after the money you lost on deposits.

Post # 57
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Hang on to that ring (where he can’t get at it…does he still have a key to the apartment? change the locks anyway!).  Look into small claims court for the deposits, cancellation fees, etc related to the wedding.  Selling the ring may be ordered by the court to help with those costs.  It’s about the only leverage you have against this jerk.  

Post # 58
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

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WallNut :  They are on a lease. I don’t think she can just change the locks like that.

Post # 59
Member
292 posts
Helper bee

Sorry to hear that he has been so inconsiderate. I hope you are ok.

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