- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2019
I know this all MUCH easier said than done, but it must be done.
This is a minor sticking point… and I don’t mean it to shame you… but he is not cheating. He broke up with you. He might have cheatED on you, but he’s single now. He owes you no further explanation. He’s a shithead. He’s a bastard. But he’s her (or his) shithead now.
Ok so he’s definitely cheating on you, with those “answers”. What a POS.
Are you still on the joint account? Clear it out already, except for the rent payment that is about to go through. Then close the account. Fuck him. He can take you to court if he wants. (He wont.)
I’m sorry girl! Hang in there! The only way past it is through it.
See? He is already turning into a jerk. His guilt is gone. Time to cut him out of your life OP and move on. Only do what is best for you from here on out. Since the roles are reversed and he is on the lease for a few more months he does HAVE to pay for the apartment. Go back into your joint account right now and empty it out. Take all of that right to your lease office and ask if you can pay your next few months rent early. Put all the money he had in that account toward rent until the lease he is on is up. He can’t argue that at all. Do this ASAP.
Keep the ring. He says he wants out of the apartment? Great than he has 1 week to remove his shit. Seriously if he wants out than he needs to be all the way out completely and totally. That means he can’t keep his shit in the apartment and keep stopping by to collect it. OH and if he wants people to know the wedding is off? Than he needs to call them all and tell them its over. You shouldn’t have to be cancelling or calling anyone.
Like other bees have said, things you should do ASAP:
1. Get all that money out of the joint account into your personal account NOW. You don’t know if he’s going to try and clean it out (this asshole sounds like he will), so it’s best you take the initiative before he screws you over even more financially. Apply it to the lease and all the money you are out because of cancellations. He’s on the lease so tell him he can FUCK off and that you’re going to take that money to pay rent if he’s being a whiny asshole. If there’s money left, you can decide how you want to handle it later.
2. Change passwords to ALL your joint accounts. You might not remember everything off the top of your head right now, but do as much as you can to minimize that damage.
3. Send out an email/text whatever to let all your guests know that the wedding is canceled, and who’s fault it was. If you let him do it, he’s going to spin it to come out like roses.
ETA: Or if you don’t feel up to letting your guests know about the cancellation, have your maid of honor or close family member send it out. Or maybe add on your wedding website if it’s password protected for guests. Just giving suggestions. I’d deal with letting guests know as the lowest priority from the 3 listed above.
He paid for stuff while you were in a relationship? And that apparently means it’s ok to stick you with the bill for ending it?! That is ridiculous and callous.
It’s not a matter of walking away with an equal amount of money spent altogether per side. Whether the amount you’re losing on this is more or less or equal to what he spent or contributed during the relationship is completely irrelevant.
The only relevant factor here is that there are financial costs associated with ending this relationship, which was a decision that he made, over which you had absolutely no control and for which you had absolutely no time or ability to prepare.
I genuinely don’t understand how he can care so little about how this impacts you. It’s just so callous. He doesn’t seem to care one bit about how much he is hurting you.
A decent person walking away from an engagement that just didn’t feel right wouldn’t treat their ex partner like this. They’d be doing everything they could to soften the blow and pad the other person’s landing.
The fact that he isn’t, and instead is choosing to actively make things harder for you, is a very clear indication that you’re dodging a bullet here, even though it hurts like hell.
He is NOT the person you thought he was and he was NEVER going to be the husband you deserve even if he did marry you.
WHAT. A. FUCKHEAD.
I wasted so much time wondering whether or not to take any more than my share from our joint account. Unfortunately in the meanwhile, this morning he logged in to the account because our payment for the lease was due to go out and he texted me saying “I see you’re taking funds out of the account.” and then he withdrew his funds from there as well. So that option is gone as well.
Yeah and when I said to him that I couldn’t believe he was doing to me what his ex-fiancee did to him, he said that it was in no way comparable and that she was ill and not taking help, so she couldn’t go through with the wedding back then, and she left it too long to get help and so on. And then when I asked him to explain what exactly our problems that made him dump me were, he was vague about how we are totally incompatible and then changed the subject to the apartment again. I feel like if he would just answer my questions, I would be able to cope at least a little better.
Can you take him to a small claims court? What a pos.
The topic ‘Fiance called off wedding and broke up’ is closed to new replies.