(Closed) Fiance called off wedding and broke up

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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darksideofthemoon :  Sorry, bee. I don’t normally like to draw conclusions about people I’ve never met… but this guy is the worst kind of asshole. 

Like you, I just don’t understand what is going on. It does sound like he’s met someone else. What a ridiculous fool. 

I’m so sorry you were blindsided. Hang in there. In time you’ll be thankful for the bullet you dodged here. 

Post # 92
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

It does sound like he is seeing someone, because he does not want you to know where he is staying. In your place, I would probably move out but even if you decide to stay, he should continue his lease contributions until it runs out. You should not have to pay it all because he ended the relationship.

Post # 93
Member
2068 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

There is a saying that I 100% believe in. ” you don’t know who someone is until they don’t get what they want.” This is exactly what’s happening here. He is to you a completely different different person because your seeing what he is like when he doesn’t get what he wants. He suddenly is telling you to leave him alone and stop trying to see where he is staying? What a Fucking tool. You are seeing exactly who he is. Put yourself first. Do what’s best for you. We are here with you Op. you have our support. Many of us have gone though this and you are supported. You can and will get through this. Hugs 

Post # 95
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

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darksideofthemoon :  is it possible he went back to his original fiance? I would do some snooping on social media. And I would blow his entire life to pieces. I would contact everyone invited to the wedding and make a public post about the fact that he abruptly broke off the engagement because he is cheating on you. 

Post # 96
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

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sf618b :  He does seem to be cheating but she does not have any way to confirm this. It would be rather unwise to tell wedding guests that the wedding is off because he cheated in the absence of proof.

Post # 97
Member
5740 posts
Bee Keeper

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beetobe27 :  It walks like a duck, talks like a duck and likes to swim. Pretty sure it’s a duck. 

Post # 98
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

He’s required by law to give you and the landlord a 30 day notice to vacate. Also if he breaks the lease he has to pay the amount listed under your rental agreement. Usually it’s 1.5-3x the monthly rent. He’s a dumbass and dont let him try to fool you.

It sounds like he has hatred and resents you, bee. His attitude confirms that. Also I find it odd he’s cool with being in contact with his ex fiancee after she did what she did to *him*, and he’s totally cool with having you kick rocks and basically saying you’ve mooched on his during the relationship. What a petty, careless human being. I have a notion hes still in love with his ex fiancee and you just dont add up. (In his mind). Sorry, bee. And now things have become too real and he can’t ‘pretend’anynore.

Post # 99
Member
2322 posts
Buzzing bee

Bee, I wish I could say his behavior surprises me, but it doesn’t. 

He doesn’t love you.  

He doesn’t even like you much.

Now that he has gathered the courage to pull the plug he wants it all over NOW.

I guarantee he wants to move in with someone else and I’m sure it’s his ex. 

But even if not, he sees you as dirt on his shoe to kick off, so even though you are shocked and confused you have to push those feelings aside and start DOING. You will get no kindness or reconciliation from this guy.

1. If you want the apt, then stay there. I wouldn’t simply because he wants to move out and fuck him. I’d contact the landlord, tell him what’s going on, if it helps tell them you are afraid because he’s angry and you need to move out asap. Anything it takes to get you out of there.

2. Ask your best friend and sister to start contacting people about the wedding being cancelled, if people ask what happened they can say it seems like he may be with someone else. MAY. If they don’t ask they should give no explanation.

3. Stay with someone else and don’t contact him. If you want, you can send one message or give one call to his family to thank them for their kindness towards you. They weren’t that kind but it will make them feel guilty which might help in his treatment of you. 

4. The reason you aren’t getting married is because he’s an asshole. That’s all. Assume the worst. Assume he is with someone else, assume he’s disgusted by you, assume whatever you have to so that you get good and angry and stop seeing him for the prince he isnt. The worse he gets the easier it will be to get over him.

My exfiance ended our relationship with basically no reason. He was cheating on me earlier and we were in counseling for 6 months during which he was adamant he loved me and wanted to marry me. After he dumped me I found out he was with the same girl. That didn’t go well for him. Then after dating some other women he found his now wife. I just got married to a man I had known for years who always loved me but I was so focused on my ex I didn’t see how great he was. I’m happier than I have ever been now. And my ex? Well we reconnected years later and all he could basically say was he was an idiot, he did love me then, I had done nothing wrong, and he apologized for hurting me. As if it made it better. You may get the same, maybe not, but right now nothing is your fault and he will have to carry the shame of what he did for the rest of his life, and I promise you, that’s not a good foundation for a successful new (or a continuation of an old) relationship. 

Post # 100
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Fuck him take everything 

Post # 101
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee

 

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slomotion :  I wish I could vote this helpful 1000 times. Like holy crap this guy is such a POS.

Post # 102
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

 

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sunburn :  True, but I don’t quite see the point of telling guests that he might be cheating. It just seems like a very undignified way of going about it and she’ll feel better for maybe a while by being angry and vindictive, but ultimately it means everyone knows the ins and outs of her personal life. But that’s just how I see it. Maybe she prefers that everyone knows all that happened.

Post # 103
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

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sf618b :  I would do some snooping too. Check his and her online activity.

Post # 104
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

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greeneyedamber :  It wouldn’t be a surprise if he went back to his ex. 

Post # 105
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

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strawberrysakura :  And if he’s ready to move in with someone then he’s probably been having an affair for a while.

 

greeneyedamber :  She said he kept in contact with her to see how she was because she (ex) had severe mental health problems.

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