(Closed) Fiance caught watching homosexual porn, but says it means nothing.

posted 3 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 2
Member
3390 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Did you find any heterosexual porn as well? Or is he exclusively looking at gay porn? 

Post # 3
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2021

To be honest, I would never be able to get past this.  The doubts would always linger in my mind and I’d never be able to forget it. I don’t have any advice, but this must be very difficult for you and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Post # 4
Member
3855 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Honestly, in this case, it really does sound like he was just curious as to how it worked. Like… I really think it is just that simple. 

Another thing, I’m a woman married to a man who believes sexuality operates on a spectrum. I don’t really consider myself bi, I’m in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. But if I’m going to enjoy porn, I only enjoy women only porn. I just find it exciting. But still, totally committed to this one man as my heterosexual life mate. 

So… watching pornography with homosexual images does not make someone inherently gay  I don’t think your dude is gay. 

 

Post # 8
Member
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I consider myself straight. I’m in a heterosexual, monogamous marriage. I’ve never wanted to date or have sex with another woman. But I prefer to watch lesbian porn. I have no itch that needs to be scratched, I have no exploring that needs to be done, and I was a virgin when I met my husband and am 100% satisfied with our heterosexual sex life. I don’t identify as bisexual nor am I lying about my sexuality to my husband. Enjoying or being curious about gay porn does not make you gay. 

Post # 9
Member
3855 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

View original reply
jak60601 :  I think he WAS being honest when he told you he was just interested. Have you really never looked at anything weird or out of the ordinary simply because you were interested? I google the weirdest crap all the time, if you looked at my search history sometimes it would be totally disturbing. And not because I plan on doing these wild things, simply because I have an inquiring mind. 

Did he grow up in the type of environment where sexuality of any form was taboo? Was his virginity something he was holding on to for some reason that had been reinforced to him over and over growing up? I think that makes a difference too. Now that he’s an adult, he could be seeking answers to things he never got when he was younger. Not to questions like “do I like men?” But more like “I wonder what that looks like?” 

Post # 10
Member
3855 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

View original reply
hikingbride :  Dude. It’s cuz girls are hot and whilst I enjoy dick A LOT, it just doesn’t film well 😂😂😂

Post # 11
Member
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is true. Dicks are not pretty! 

View original reply
desertgypsy :  

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
desertgypsy :  I respectfully disagree. When you really “want to know how things work”, you read an article or watch a YouTube video. I seriously doubt that anyone watches porn for any reason other than to get off sexually.

That being said, I wouldn’t be okay with this and would never be able to move past it. I support the LQBT+ community fully and completely; however, I would not be okay with dating a man who identified anything other than straight. 

I will say, though, I don’t think he’s blatantly lying to you. He may not really understand his sexuality himself. You said he was a virgin when you met—is there a reason from his childhood why he never explored his sexuality until now (such a religious upbringing)?

Post # 13
Member
3768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think women watching lesbian porn is quite common, but men watching gay porn is very uncommon unless there’s something else going on (questioning his heterosexuality, etc). Obviously that’s a generalization and there are always outliers though  

Did he grow up religious? That would be a second red flag for me. There are a lot of not-completely-straight men who repress it due to religious shame. 

Post # 14
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I enjoy watching lesbian porn and am a straight married woman. I feel like there’s a bit of a double standard when it comes to this. Is it really that straight women can enjoy homosexual porn without being gay but straight men cannot? I’m not sure … 

If these homosexual videos were mixed up among many heterosexual videos then I think it could very well be just curiosity. And honestly if he is bi, there’s a strong possibility that he isn’t even sure himself. That doesn’t mean he’s going to up and leave you for a man though. 

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