(Closed) Fiance caught watching homosexual porn, but says it means nothing.

posted 3 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 91
Member
2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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fcm16 :  but why would you rather date someone who IDs as straight? How does it impact your relationship with a man if he IDs as bi? 

You can have whatever preferences you want. That doesn’t mean they aren’t rooted in bigotry. 

Post # 92
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

It could affect someone else’s relationship maybe not yours but not everyone is you. Its not fair to say she is being discriminatory simply because she’s worried about her fiancé watching gay porn. She’s not discriminating against anyone and those who don’t want to marry a bi man aren’t doing anything discriminatory to the community. 

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carolinabelle :  

Post # 93
Member
2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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fcm16 :  I’m asking you specifically why you wouldn’t date a man who is bi. I’m guessing you can’t answer because there is no answer that isn’t biphobic at its roots. 

Post # 94
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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fcm16 :  Nope, you tagged the right bee.

A bisexual person is just as capable of having a heterosexual commited relationship as a straight person. There is literally no reason to discriminate against them. So yes, it is homophobic. It is not anywhere near the same as someone’s appearance.

Post # 95
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t say me. I’ve dated a bi man. If I found out my straight fiancé was watching gay porn I’d have some questions and would always wonder if he’s missing something. I’m simply saying I do not think anyone is being discriminatory towards a person because they would prefer to date a straight man. I can see both sides to it and I don’t pass judgement on people who have different preferences than I do if they are not hurting anyone else. A bisexual person is capable of being in a monogamous relationship I don’t question it at all. All I’m saying is that I understand other people who would want to date someone straight. I don’t get it really. Gay men go with gay men and my gay best friend only prefers gay men who are more “masculine” than him. He wouldn’t date a straight man. He’s not being discriminatory. A straight woman who only dates bisexual men isn’t being discriminatory.

People have their preferences and if their preferences aren’t causing harm to the other person then who cares? Its not fair to think EVERYONE in the world has to date bisexual individuals some people are not open to it. I’ve dated a bisexual man and even I can let others have their own opinions 

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carolinabelle :  

Post # 96
Member
787 posts
Busy bee

Sweet baby jesus. This is freaking crazy. OP and some of you other bees really sound homophobic/biphobic.

It’s porn people. I watch both lesbian and gay porn. It’s fantasy. Doesn’t make me a lesbian because I enjoy it. What a double freaking standard.

I have definitley watched some porn out of curiosity too! Much better than googling or youtube 🙂

And OP – why in the hell were you snooping through his history? No one does this on accident. Come on!

Post # 97
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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fcm16 : 

“I do not think anyone is being discriminatory towards a person because they would prefer to date a straight man”

It is.

“I can see both sides to it”

No, you can’t. Unless you yourself are bisexual then you cannot truly see the other side of it and what it feels like to be discriminated against on the basis of your sexuality.

“if they are not hurting anyone else”

Discriminating against bisexuals on the basis of their sexuality is hurtful to that group. It is not the same as saying you won’t date someone who is not sexually attracted to your gender.

“He wouldn’t date a straight man.”

Of course your gay friend wouldn’t date a straight man. A straight man is not sexually attracted to males. A bisexual person is attracted to both males and females, so this excuse doesn’t work.

Post # 98
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

Half of this thread is bees telling other bees about their personal porn usage and the other half is bees telling other bees they are homophobic (biphobic, really?) for their personal dating choices! What is wrong with you guys? She came here for advice, you all would be shocked had your SO done this and you had no clue. Stop acting like she’s some hateful individual because she doesn’t want to date someone that doesn’t fit what she finds attractive.  If this post stated, “I found out my husband is a Republican and voted for Trump, what do I do?”–would you all be jumping her crap because this guy wasn’t who she thought? Come on, we cannot turn our backs to people over their dating preference.  

Post # 99
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Ok. Relax. I can see both sides meaning I can understand people who don’t care and would date a man of any orientation and I can also understand those who would prefer to date someone straight. Not that I understand bisexual people.

And the “excuse” isn’t an excuse. You guys are attacking people you don’t know for literally no reason. There are literally straight men who ONLY date bisexual women! And there are bisexual women who ONLY DATE straight men or STRAIGHT women. Don’t try to say this isn’t true. Because it is. It’s a SEXUAL preference and sexual preferences are personal. Being attracted to both men and women is fine I don’t care what anyone is attracted to. I support the LGBTQ community since I was 13 years old. But guess what? I don’t automatically say someone who doesn’t want to date someone bi is an awful person. It makes no sense to pass that judgement whatsoever when there are straight men who only want bi women and bi women who want their partner to be straight. Just because it’s different than your preference or my preference or whoever’s doesn’t mean they are homophobic or biphobic. But you’re soooooo ready to jump down people’s throats who don’t agree with you?? Like I said Im just saying not everyone needs to think the way I do and I think the same as you so the fact that you’re even yelling at me and calling me a bigot is insane.  

 

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blushingbee2019 :  

Post # 100
Member
2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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fcm16 :  discriminating against someone because they are bisexual IS hurting them. Saying you wouldn’t date someone who is bi is perpetuating the idea that they are some how ideologically different than a straight person – that they can’t give you as fulfilling of a relationship, or they can’t be monogamous, or they are some how less masculine because they also like men or whatever the reason is. 

Post # 101
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

7 pages in and OP still hasn’t told us how she “accidentally” went through his internet history

Post # 102
Member
2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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lemonsandlife71 :  I mean Trump supporters are racist bigots, or at the very least support one, so that speaks of their character. A bisexual person is not comparable to a freaking Trump supporter, it has literally 0 to do with their personality or morals. Also yeah, biphobia is a thing, pretty gross of you to belittle it. 

Post # 103
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Ok so what about straight men who only look for bi women? Or bi women and men who only want straight partners? It’s a preference. And the OP never said she’d turn her back on her fiancé she was asking how she could get past this thing that she wasn’t aware of. I’d be upset to!! How could u not if you had no idea? And I’m not saying her fiancé is gay or bi bc he watches gay porn I’m trying to understand a woman who came here looking for advice and comfort because she found her straight fiancé watching gay porn which is something she doesn’t understand sorry I’m so awful and rooted in bigotry that I try to understand other people’s points of views?

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carolinabelle :  

Post # 104
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

AND I AGREE with you that being bi doesn’t make anyone less capable of being monogomous or masculine. But it’s not fair to attack people for not wanting to date someone with different sexual preferences it’s just not fair. 

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carolinabelle :  

Post # 105
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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carolinabelle :  OMG lol .

Someone preferring not to date a bisexual person isn’t thet being discriminatory. Everyone has the right to their own preferences.and choices without being labeled anti. Get real. 

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